Everyday Lily

Amazing Wonders 1-8-12

2012-01-08T14:07:00.004-05:00

Last night, I just got back from two days away at Ridgecrest in Black Mountain, NC. Two of God's precious servants from our church and I attended Lifeway's VBS training event for Amazing Wonders Aviation. It was so much fun, and it really gets you excited about Vacation Bible School. Yes, it is six months away, but a successful VBS takes a ton of prayer and preparation! As I get older, I become more and more convinced that God loves it when we covenant with him in prayer and when we listen to Him for His part in the plans we are making, especially if we're working on something for His glory! If you are part of the VBS planning team for your church and you can get to one of these training events, I highly recommend it.

I've already popped in the Music DVD and shown Spouse and the kids some of the music and moves for this year's VBS. There is just something about VBS that just gets me all choked up with emotion. It touches my soul to see so many men and women from churches across the nation coming together to reach out to children in their communities with the message of Christ. It truly is an amazing wonder, and only something that could be orchestrated by God. Yes, it means that my children look at me a bit funny when we are first learning the music because I get all teary-eyed while doing goofy dance-moves. It just breaks my heart-- but in a good way. I realize that not everyone feels this way about VBS, but as I told my oldest child, I hope one day that God impresses every Christian heart with a passion for reaching out to His children- whether they be old, young or anywhere in between!

In other news.... Today, I get to celebrate my twentieth anniversary with this guy. At the tender age of nineteen, we pledged our eternal love to each other, and against the odds, we've managed to stay married for two decades. This is not because of any great feat on our part-- we almost broke it to pieces a little over a decade ago, but our continued relationship is a testimony to the fact that God can heal hurts and can mend the broken places in our lives. I am so thankful that we fell back in love again and that we both were brought to a place of humility before God. He is such an amazing God. I am so blessed to be able to wake up to see my partner and best friend's face every morning. Besides, who else would put up with my teary eyes over things like VBS? That little bit of crazy is all mine, but so is Greg, and I am thankful.

New year, new beginnings 1-1-12

2012-01-01T13:25:00.002-05:00

I thought today I'd talk about what I'd like to see manifested in my life over the next year, things that I am actively working toward, things that I am willing to actually accomplish, not just dream and plan.

On one of the blogs I read, the writer had established a word for the New Year- something to hold fast to. Something to give her direction. I really liked her word for 2012, so I'm adopting it as well. That word is "GO".

For a long time, I've been preparing for some things that I feel called to. Preparation is important, but I think sometimes we can get stuck in our preparation phase- so stuck, in fact, that we ONLY prepare. We ONLY plan. We ONLY dream, but we never take the steps needed to move out of that comfortable place of writing things down in a journal. We get so busy packing our bags so that we'll have everything we need that we never actually open the door and step out into the big, wide world. I'm tired of preparing. I'm ready to GO and get on with what God has ahead.

I will be finally graduating in May of 2012 with my bachelor's in Religious Studies. I had thought that after this, I would continue on with my education to get a master's. I'd thought that by this point I would be looking at seminaries, and I have, but I haven't applied at any because I'm tired of being in school. I am ready to get on with my speaking ministry- ready to help other women- ready to start fulfilling my calling. Is seminary in the future? Maybe, but not for now. For now, I need to open that door and step out of school and into what God has for me.

Specifically, I will be pursuing speaking opportunities and writing articles for magazines and web content and building my web presence. Speaking and writing. Writing and speaking. This is my plan. I do have specific steps laid out for myself, but I won't bore you with all the details. I just needed to put my plans out there- for someone other than me to see.

It's a scary thing- this stepping out. It's so much more comfortable to just keep on preparing for the path ahead. It's a lot more comforting to keep on packing those bags with everything I might need. It feels better to be protected, to be safe, to not have any expectations of myself other than to do well in school- preparing. But am I just called to be comfortable? Surely not. Instead, I am called to GO, to do God's will, not just sit around planning for some nebulous future that may never come to pass if I never tied my shoes and opened the door.

Another driver and a graduate 8/3/11

2011-08-03T10:21:00.000-04:00

I thought I'd share with you a few of the things you've missed this summer, since I've been bloggily silent, for the most part. First of all, my oldest kid (Emily) graduated from high school. I have no idea how this happened, since we all know I am still only 23. /sarcasm You see that rather short on right on the end of the standing row? That's my baby. :) We were so proud. She doesn't see the big deal about graduating, but it's a right of passage, and we're proud of her.

Man! It was hot that day! They'd been calling for storms, but not a single cloud was in the sky by the time graduation started.

In other Emily news, just today, we finally went to court to get her non-provisional driver's license. Just in time for her to move to my mother-in-law's for college.

This summer, we also went on vacation to the beach, went to Kings Dominion, sent two kids off to camp and generally did a bunch of stuff. According to my kids, who go back to school next Tuesday (yes, you read that right), we did nothing. And their summer was boring. I'm shocked they survived the terribly boredom.

And just a week ago, my second child, Aaron, got his learner's permit. Doesn't he look proud? If you could see me in the pic (rather than being the one behind the camera), you might see a frightened expression on my face. My goodness. Two of them driving now???? How does this even happen? Seriously, though, I'm proud of him. I know he'll be a good driver (fingers and toes crossed on that one), and hopefully won't add any more silver to my hair.

7-21-11

2011-07-21T18:27:00.004-04:00

Holy hand grenades, Batman! I deleted my blog in a moment of digital clean-up and regretted it almost immediately. I was just feeling overwhelmed by too much stuff going on in my life. BUT I realized that there is quite a bit of my life tied up in my blog, and that's really not a place I need to clear out. I've been blogging since 2008, and wow- that's a long time. Fortunately, Blogger allows for just such an emergency of regret by not really deleting your blog until 90 days after you tell them to delete it.

So please forgive me, sweet followers of my little blog.

So what have I been up to? To be honest- Mostly just glistening. My grandmother always said that ladies don't sweat, they glisten. Well, I sure have been doing an awful lot of glistening lately, since here in Virginia, the heat index is around 112. Not kidding. It is horribly hot. The temperature at this precise moment is about 99, but with the humidity, it's just plain hard to breathe out there and it feels about as hot as Satan's armpit! For those of you who live in hotter places, please accept my apologies for whining, and why DO you live in such a hot place, anyway? I'm serious when I tell y'all that I just melt when it's like this. My brain turns to tapioca, and all I want to do is lay around in the air conditioning. God knew what He was doing when he put me in this time period, because heaven knows I wouldn't have made it through the years past without this beautiful invention. I ♥ air conditioning, indeed!

Meanwhile, what else would I do when it's so horrifyingly hot that you could literally fry an egg on the sidewalk? I'd paint my kitchen. Yep. All that lovely 60's era teal is making way for a bright sunshiny (though cool because it's in the AC of course) yellow. My kitchen is terribly drab and dark, so I'm painting it a color called "Only Yesterday". It's the same color as my living room, which we just painted a few months ago. This would be why Spouse is so unwilling to help me on this project. The boy hates painting, and I can't say I blame him too much, but there is something absolutely beautiful about a freshly-painted wall, isn't there? I may post pics later, if I manage to actually finish the project all by myself.

We're also getting our oldest child ready to head to college in a few weeks. How does that happen? She was just a little thing, just yesterday. She'll be attending VCU (like her Mommy!), but she won't be living at home. The hour and a half (one-way) commute is a bit much for her, so she'll be living with my mother-in-law, who only lives 10 minutes from VCU. Of course, we have all the usual trepidations about her starting VCU, but I'm so happy for her! She'll be an art major at the #1 public art university in the US. How awesome is that? I knew she'd get in, even though she wasn't sure. Her father and I couldn't be prouder! I have made her a solemn promise that I won't crowd her, and I will do my best to pretend I don't know her unless she acknowledges me first. (Kidding, of course, but there was some worry on her part that I would act all goofy and expect her to always hang out with me on campus. She doesn't realize that would crimp MY style, not just hers.)

I'm anxious for my last semester at VCU to start so that I can be done done DONE with my Bachelor's degree. Spouse and I agreed that I'll take a little bit of time off before working on my Master's degree, and I am SO excited by the prospect of no longer having that long commute and finally having finished this first part of my journey.

Seeing stars 6-29-11

2011-06-29T23:05:00.004-04:00

All of my fretting and panicking in the last post was, of course, pointless. Everything worked out fine with financial aid, and we are go for fall semester! On some level, I knew it would be fine. I also knew that if I didn't get the financial aid I needed, then maybe God had something else planned for the fall. Either way, I was in good hands. I admit that I am terribly impatient. It's a flaw that I'm working on.

So today, as I was wandering the streets of Scottsville, in search of paper towels and a new hammer at the Family Dollar, I ran into Dave Matthews. As in Dave Matthews of the Dave Matthews Band. I knew he owned a farm just a few miles away, but for some strange reason, I didn't expect to see him outside of Twist- the new frozen yogurt place in Scottsville- hanging out with his adorable little girls and getting his fro-yo on. I had the briefest of conversations with one of his little girls about her duct-tape purse that she made herself and made a comment to Dave Matthews, which he acknowledged. Kindof a micro-conversation. My daughter also waited on him at Slice of Heaven (which is next door to Twist), but she was unaware of it until I told her. LOL.

Here's the weirdest thing about that whole exchange. I learned once and for all that I truly am not star-struck. I can recognize that he is a celebrity, but he's just another person. He still gets pizza and frozen yumminess with his kids on a hot summer day, and wears bummy clothes, and talks to random strangers on the street about nothing, just like the rest of us. It's just that he also makes boucoup bucks with his music and has been in a few movies. *shrug* I just wish I'd invited his daughters to VBS, because I'm sure his daughters get bored doing the same old stuff, just like my kids do. And I know for certain that just like everyone else, they need to hear about Jesus. Too bad I didn't think of it til afterwards.

Feeling Adrift 6-17-2011

2011-06-17T21:36:00.003-04:00

First off, let me offer the obligatory "Sorry I have neglected my blog." It's been more than six months, primarily because last semester was insanely busy. Then once I was out for the semester, I'd just been feeling odd and disconnected. I've just felt totally adrift for the past month or so.

There is nothing I need to do for school. I'm in between semesters. There are a million projects to do on the house, but I don't feel like doing any of them. My kids are growing up, and it would almost seem that they have outgrown the need to have a mom around. (That last one is making me a bit sad.) They DO need me, but they are all crazy-busy with her own agendas of things to do, particularly the 18-year-old who just graduated. Spouse has also been incredibly busy, leaving me feeling a bit turned around. Suddenly I have almost nothing to do (except for the projects that I mentioned that I work very hard at avoiding, apparently). I just feel like I've somehow lost my place in my own home, and I don't know what to do about it.

Add to that the fact that (again) VCU has left me hanging when it comes to financial aid, and you have a very mixed-up lady on your hands! What I mean is that it's now mid-June, and I've heard NOTHING from VCU about whether or not I get any kind of financial aid for the upcoming year. NOTHING. If I don't receive financial aid, I can't go this fall. It's as simple as that. We just don't have the money to pay for school, so if I don't get what I need in terms of financial aid, then I'll have to take a semester off and work so that I can go back and finish my final semester of my Bachelor's degree and graduate in the Spring, instead of in December. This has me completely agitated, and while I could call the school up and fuss at them, it will do no good whatsoever. They will get to it when they get to it-- even if that's not until November.

AND because I decided to take a semester off between Bachelor's and Master's degrees, Spouse decided that maybe HE should go back to school during that break. The thing is, he'd need to go for more than a semester, so seminary is temporarily on-hold for me.... if I can even finish my bachelor's to begin with. There just is no way we can both be in school at the same time, from a time and a money standpoint.

The long and the short of it is that things are not going like I expected, and it's left me feeling utterly confused. I feel like I'm floating out to sea, un-anchored and out of my comfort zone. There are entirely too many question marks on my life right now, and I don't like it one bit! Fortunately, those question marks are not question marks to the one who has a greater perspective than I have. God stands back, and He knows what's going on. I simply need to trust Him to lead. If I have to take a semester off before getting my Bachelor's, God is not surprised. I just wish He'd let ME know so that I can make plans and do what needs to be done.

Holiday Hangovers 12-31-2010

2010-12-31T23:27:00.005-05:00

Many people will awake tomorrow and greet 2011 with a hangover from indulging too much in reverie the night before. Still more of us will greet 2011 with what I like to call a holiday hangover. A holiday hangover can be just plain regret from indulging too much financially or indulging too much around the table with friends and family. Some of us may even have indulged too much in the comings and goings of the season, resulting in a suffocating depression as the holidays come to a screeching halt.

My family indulged a bit too much financially, including today when we took Daniel (our youngest) to an indoor water park at Massanutten- a ski resort in the mountains about an hour and a half from us. We did this because the older three are on a youth group trip and I didn't want Daniel to feel left out. Unfortunately, that fun came at a price, and while I think it was well worth it, it left us with empty wallets until the next payday. The 'fun money' is all gone, and we are left with good memories, an aching back (as I really shouldn't have gone down one slide in particular) and a lingering exhaustion from quite a bit of fun!

In a few short minutes, 2010 will end and 2011 will begin. Like so many other families, we will be revisiting our budget, making sure everything is as it should be, and probably revising it a bit. We'll be asking hard questions, thinking about where we're spending too much in both time and money and tweaking. We'll also be organizing and trying to put things back in order around here. Even as I type this, Spouse is busy taking down decorations and tomorrow will be spent (at least part of the day) cleaning and sweeping out the old to make room for the new. We're even sorting through things to donate to the local Goodwill, to bless others as we bless ourselves with a tidy home.

Though I have made no real New Year's resolutions since those are typically broken by the third day of the year, there are places that I'm working on. Things that God is working out IN me. Places that need straightening out and things that generally need to be cut back on. The new year is a great time to think back at the year that's past and think about what has worked well, and what needs more tweaking. For me, I plan to grow closer to God, closer to my family, and to get rid of my clutter and keep my home and life clutter-free to make room for new ideas and blessings in my life. So what are you planning to work on in 2011?

Wishing you and yours a wonderful New Year, full of blessing and beauty!

God's Primer 12-29-10

2010-12-29T17:48:00.003-05:00

Today we finally decided to crack open those cans of paint and work on Lydia's room. We'd been promising her that we'd do her room for longer than I'd like to admit, but busyness and a general lack of time coordination had prevented us. She'd had blue walls, but she longed for a soft yellow hue to fill her days with sunshine.

Before we could put the color on the walls, we needed to prime them. You prime for a couple of reasons. One of them is to put a barrier between what was past (the old color) and what you're trying to do in the future. You also might prime if you're painting over a shiny surface-- like polyurethaned paneling or anything that might make your new paint bubble and peel.

I will be the very first to admit that I love it when the color goes on! I despise having to prime because honestly I like seeing the end result. During the priming phase, I always find myself feeling pouty because it doesn't seem like we're doing anything toward the final product. I start to get tired, and my back starts to ache a bit, and I want to just have everything finished. Even though I know better, I just don't like priming, especially when it needs more than one coat of primer and you have to run out and get more primer because you don't have enough.

Following God's plans for your life is kindof like that. Sometimes you're in the priming stage. Sometimes it takes a lot of work, and at times we grow tired. We long to see the end result- the gorgeous color and the room put back together again, not the gray-white of a primer coat. We can find ourselves wishing that we could jump to the end without putting in the base work that needs to be done. What happens when we skip this vital step though is that the lovely yellow can come out a sickly green as it is colored by the blue of the past. The hard work comes to nothing but mess if we don't do ALL of the hard work that's needed. Sometimes, too, when we're in that priming stage, people seeing you go through it can't imagine the end result. Comments from nay-sayers can derail the project so you never get finished at all, but knowing what you're going for gives you hope, even in the face of adversity and exhaustion.

God isn't derailed by the gray-white of the primer coat. He isn't derailed when more primer is needed. He expects it. He knows what's going on, and even when we think we may never be done with the project, He knows all about His timing. He isn't derailed by nay-sayers who tell us to give up dreams of doing big things for God. Instead, God expects us to put in the work- to keep on going and working and even when we step in a puddle of paint (which I did today, by the way) he expects us to keep on working. Galatians 6:9 tells us, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Note those last few words... If we do not give up. Yes, we could put down the brushes and rollers and put our feet up before the work is done. We could skip steps and slap some paint up on the wall, but it would not be the blessing that God wants to see in our lives.

So what is God priming YOU for these days? Leave me a comment. I'd like to know!

The Christmas Rush 12-21-10

2010-12-21T10:45:00.001-05:00

I've heard many people this year stating what Christmas means to them. For some, it's a season of sharing, family or gift-giving. For some, it's a season of working overtime in a retail job, a season for making sure their children have enough warm clothing to make it through the cold coming months, or a season to gain weight just before the January season of trying to lose that weight again. For some, sadly enough, it's a season to just get through. For even others, it's about decorating and about watching Christmas specials on tv. For me, Christmas is the time when we celebrate Christ's birth. While it is true that we don't know the actual date when Jesus was born, the celebration was placed on December 25- just after the winter solstice- because of a practice called syncretism, sanctioned by Pope Gregory (the Great), and was meant to show the pagan people just what the coming of the light was- not a coming of the literal light as the days lengthen, but the coming of the Light of the World. We don't know his literal birthday, but we still celebrate the coming of the Christ child into the world!

All of this means that about two thousand years ago, another woman was dealing with even more anxiety than many of us face today. She wasn't rushing around since there just isn't a lot of rushing to do when you're on a long journey and there were no gifts to buy or wrapping to do, but I'm sure she had plenty of anxiety. We frequently think of Mary as this calm, serene woman who knows it's all going to be just fine, but I have a different picture of her. She was making a long trek, probably hoping their donkey wouldn't break down on the way, wondering when they would get where they were going and whether or not her baby would have a warm, safe, CLEAN place to be born. She was probably also emotional, since the hormones must have been fluctuating as they do with every pregnant woman I've ever met (myself included with each of my four babies), unsure of the navigation capabilities of her new husband Joseph, and whether or not he would stop to ask directions if they got lost. She was probably surpressing the need to ask "Are we there yet?" Probably praying that the pain in her back would subside, wondering if her swollen belly would have the capability of any more growth if this pregnancy thing went on much longer and wondering if what her friends told her was true about the excruciating pain of childbirth (without the aid of modern pain-killers). Maybe she was even wondering if someone else would remember to feed the cat back home in her absence, whether or not Joseph had packed enough underwear for the trip and whether she would ever be able to see her feet again without leaning forward to look over her belly. And even though there's little rushing you can do on a long trip, I'm sure Mary was feeling rushed as all pregnancies tend to have an end-date--- birth, and not knowing exactly when that would happen, I'm sure she was wishing she could hurry up and get where she was going and know that at least one huge detail would be taken care of. I'm sure she had so many questions and what-if's running through her mind that rest would not come easily to her. Yet all she could really do was wait. Wait on the Lord. Literally.

Waiting on the Lord is perhaps the hardest thing for many Christians to do. A season of expectancy is just that-- expecting, not knowing when or how or what details to take care of, yet waiting on the Lord to fulfill His timing is essential for birthing anything new.

Right now I find myself in the position of waiting on the Lord, knowing what is ahead (women's ministry) and trying to prepare for it as best I can by finishing up my bachelor's degree and then on to seminary after that. I know that I'm going in direction God has called me to go- giving birth (though not in a literal sense, thank heavens!) to a new something in my life. Yes, it is fraught with worry and questions and details, some of which I cannot answer, and even though at times I have a bit of anxiety about those details, I know that God is there to guide me into the future that He has for me. Just like Mary, who didn't know exactly what awaited her, I can still say that I am truly blessed and that I am willing to endure what's necessary.

Wild Life at VCU 12-9-10

2010-12-09T21:26:00.006-05:00

On my way to my 11:00 class today, I happened to see this guy having a snack on campus. I was standing less than 15 feet from a red-tailed hawk. He had a buddy in the tree above him too, but I didn't get a good pic of him or her. He didn't seem to care that he was in the middle of Richmond, a busy city where hawks are a strange sight. He didn't seem to care that I was so close. Apparently his squirrel snack was much more interesting than I was. I also took video of him, but reviewing it, it was kindof gross seeing him pick apart the squirrel. Ew.

The Whirlwind 9-27-10

2010-09-27T10:42:00.003-04:00

Recently, when a friend asked me how life was going, I told her I felt like I was in a whirlwind. Between school, kids, Spouse, church, and dental and chiropractic issues , I feel like the winds are just swirling around me. I feel like I am in the midst of chaos on a regular basis. Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out where I'll be going to seminary, what program to follow there, whether or not I'll be doing a study abroad summer session, how to pay for it if I do, how to get ready for Old Farm Days where my daughter talked me into sharing a booth with her (after I gave up crafting), organizing my home, etc. etc. etc. The issues are numerous, and my energy level for dealing with all of this is waning.

The interesting thing about that is the day after I said that, God spoke to me in a way that made me take notice. One of the classes I'm taking is Religion and Film. We explore how religious culture is portrayed in movies. Last Wednesday we saw A Serious Man, a 2009 movie by Joel and Ethan Coen. One of the many things we were discussing was the Job parallels in the movie and what the movie's message was. We had read Job for class, and one thing just stuck out at me. In Job, God speaks out of the whirlwind.

Sometimes God speaks in a still small voice in other places in Scripture. Sometimes he speaks through dreams, through visions, through prophets and even once through a donkey. But here he speaks through the whirlwind. So here I am in the midst of my own little whirlwind of busyness and stress and -yeah, I'll admit it-- crankiness, and God reminds me to listen despite all of it. As Christians, we aren't promised a calm, easy-to-handle existence. We aren't promised that everything will go our way or that hard decisions will be easy to make. We aren't told that everything will be easy peasy lemon sqeezy. It's just not that simple. BUT if we are willing to stop and listen, sometimes God will speak to us in the midst of all the chaos in our lives. He wants us to know that He's there, and even when we feel like we are the ones who have to keep all the plates spinning, He's right in the midst of all of it too. And the words He most often speaks are "Be still, and know that I am God." I can be calm, even in the midst of all this, knowing that God is God and I am not. I can do my best with what God has given me, but in the end, I just can't control everything. And that's oddly comforting, even in the midst of a tornado.

Movies and Self-Imposed Mayhem 8-6-10

2010-08-06T10:27:00.005-04:00

I was watching a movie last night- a sci-fi flick called Paycheck with Uma Thurman and Ben Affleck. (It came out in 2003, but we hadn't seen it so we watched it on Netflix. If you haven't seen this one-- sorry-- I'm going to spoil part of the movie for you now. ) In it, the main character is a technology hacker who, once the project is hacked, has his memory wiped so he doesn't remember the design or the process at all. He takes one particular job- a much larger and longer term job, does his job, has his memory wiped and the main part of the story is trying to reconstruct what happened-- and what went wrong. He has an envelope with all these random mundane things in it that he sent to himself. Even though all the things in the envelope are simple everyday things, they are all things that he conveniently needs to make his escape from a whole bunch of people who want him dead-- and he isn't even sure WHY they are trying to kill him. He receives exactly what he needs exactly as he needs it. If anything had been left out of his envelope, he wouldn't have survived it.

After the movie, I looked at Spouse and said, "What if Christians lived like that? What if they knew they'd have everything they needed as they needed it, as provided by God? How much less would we stress?"

Philippians 4:19 tells us "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

According to Scripture, God has promised to meet all of our needs. Does this mean we get to be lazy and not do a thing? Of course not! But what it means is that we don't need to worry about it. We need to do what we need to do-- but not WORRY that we won't have what we need.

Lately, I've found myself feeling worried and fretful about a bunch of things, but last night, with those few words I spoke to Spouse, I came to realize how silly I was being. I will have what I need when I need it. God promised. Like Ben Affleck's character in the movie, I may not understand what I'm going to need that paper clip for any of the things that God provides for me-- but when the time comes, I'll be glad it was provided.

Today, realizing that stress in an unnecessary thing that I've put on myself as a result of forgetting this particular passage of Scripture (along with numerous others that remind us not to worry), I've decided to give it up like some people give up caffeine or sugar. Stress has not been a good friend to me. It's caused me to lose sleep, to gain weight, to be a cranky mama and to not give my full attention to what I should be focusing on. It's robbed me in a great many ways. My hair is even greyer than it should be because of stress, as exemplified by the exponential greying that I've experienced in the past year! And it's something that I've allowed into my life, having forgotten that all will be provided for me, just as I need it. Call it whatever you like- call it silly- call it delusional- call it part of my Campaign to Become a Better Human Being, but I've decided that stress just needs to be a thing of the past for me. I plan to live my life, knowing that I have all that I need- and if I don't have it, then it will be provided in plenty of time by the one who stands outside of time and can see what my needs will be.

A trip to Kings Dominion 8-2-10

2010-08-02T22:18:00.005-04:00

We took a trip week before last to Kings Dominion. The kids LOVE a good theme park, and I didn't want this summer to pass without one, so since KD had tickets on sale we took them there. In the past few years, we've gone to Busch Gardens, which in my opinion is a MUCH nicer park, but the nicer park comes with a higher price tag. Between all the Dr, chiro and dental visits this summer, we have been rather broke. So we went with the cheaper and closer park. Kids had a GREAT time, and Spouse and I rode a few things in the water park- things that wouldn't manage to undo all the good work Dr. Burger has put into my neck and back over the last few months. So Hhere's a pic that I managed to get of the four kids, who upon grumbling about it were reminded that the very least they could do was let me get a picture of them with Snoopy. Grumbling stopped, and giggling commenced. I suspect this will be the very last time I can capture an image of them with a costumed character. Their patience with their picture-snapping mom only goes so far.

Amazingly no one got sunburned during our stay at Kings Dominion. This is close to a miracle, since my family could give Edward Cullen a run for his money on the pale factor. Fortunately, none of us currently sparkle in any way, though with our recent schedule, one might confuse us for a family of the undead. We've all gone nocturnal, and with the kids starting back to school in 8 days (yes, you read that right), I've got to get them back to a diurnal schedule pronto!

Crazy week! 6-20-10

2010-06-20T21:40:00.005-04:00

Wow! It's been a long week! The week started off with a doctor's appointment (check-up for the boys),and a trip to the thrift store where I found a decent loveseat for $25!!!! We'd been looking for one for our bedroom for almost a year now. We dropped Aaron off at his Grandmother's house to hang out with her for a bit. I worked on painting the kids' bathroom (a project which has taken me WAY too long to get to-- I'll share a pic with you in a later post). A trip to the dentist for me. Picked up Aaron on Friday. And we had two visits from the tooth fairy. Daniel lost his two front teeth, one on Thursday and one on Friday. A dinner visit with some good friends. And a trip to see my Dad today. Even though it sounds like a typical week, for some reason, this week has kicked my fanny. We also have the PPP (Parsonage Potluck Picnic) coming up in 7 days, where we have invited the entire church over for a potluck dinner in our back yard to celebrate our fourth year anniversary here. Lots of projects that need to be completed before then, and I think I'm probably going to have to just let a few of my projects not be finished.

Where have I been? 6-10-10

2010-06-10T12:39:00.006-04:00

I've been away. I'll give you a hint about where I've been.. it involves Sand. Shells. Water. Sun. We're at the beach on vacation! This year, we are in Corolla, NC in the Outer Banks. We've been to the Outer Banks every year for the past four years, and I LOVE it. The ocean, as I've said a million times before, reminds me to breathe and to take things at a slower pace.

Yesterday we went down to the beach and collected tons of shells. I kept picking up these lovely black clam shells that were scattered all over the beach. I was thinking how beautiful they would look in an apothecary jar on my bathroom counter. Yesterday, the shells were a lovely deep black. Today, once washed and dried and sand-free, they are a deep gray. Now, that's perfectly fine with me, but it did get me to thinking.

Shells are a lot like people. People are all different-- different shapes and colors, some affected by Red Tide-- or by the difficulties they've come through. Some are whole, but most of us are desperately broken. Some are sharp around the edges- so sharp that we may cut when stepped on- and some of us have been worn smooth with time and tumbling in the waves.

Shells even change color when they aren't in the ocean, or just freshly wet from the water. They become more dull, and sometimes that gorgeous shell that you picked up on the beach becomes not so beautiful once you separate it from it's source. But when the Holy Spirit is present in our lives (represented by the water here, as it is often in Scripture)- what was once just a plain shell suddenly has depth of color. A shell may look bland when dry, but delightfully iridescent in the water. What other people may see is just an ugly little shell, but God knows that once His Spirit is added, our lives will become a stunning display of beauty that brings glory to Him. And fortunately for us, unlike those shells, God knows each one of us, and never overlooks us or loses us in the waves.

Himalayan? Really? 5-31-10

2010-05-31T23:41:00.015-04:00

I don't usually give reviews, but today we went to a new restaurant in Charlottesville...and I wanted to share. Spouse can testify to the fact that I am not very adventurous culinarily. (No, that last one isn't really a word, but it should be.) However, today, his mom and step-dad came up our way and wanted to hang out at the Downtown Mall in Charlottesville. Of course, as is always the case, lunchtime rolled around and we did what hungry lunchtime people do- we sought out the services of a restaurant. Spouse and his mom both wanted to go to Himalayan Fusion. This little place serves Indian, Tibetan and Nepalese food. Hmmm-- I wasn't sure what I thought of having lunch there, especially considering that at least two of the kids might not be up for it (in particular, my two boys).

I was delightfully surprised that not only did I like it, so did my kids-- including our oldest son, Aaron, who HATES any kind of unexpected change, including in menu. Daniel loved the fact that he could lounge while he ate, since they have cushions and pillows upon which to lean. Aaron really loved the food, and Emily liked the ambiance, though you can tell in their pic that they really didn't appreciate mom bringing a camera. Lydia even liked it.... when I asked what she liked best, she said the whole package, including the elephant painted on the wall.

If you happen to be in Charlottesville, VA, you should stop by. They're located at 520 East Main Street. Really great food, atmosphere, an elephant and couch-lounging while you eat. Did I also happen to mention that they were affordable ($6.99 for a lunch buffet on weekdays where there is a nice variety of things to try)? In a family with four kids and two adults- that earns bonus points in my book! Who could ask for more? It totally rocked my socks, and rocked socks are important things to have.

An expensive week 5-22-10

2010-05-22T22:20:00.005-04:00

This has been an expensive week for the Smith household! On Thursday, we took Daniel to the ophthalmologist (already posted about that). He didn't give Daniel a different prescription this time around, but Daniel's frames were a little worse for wear, so we got him some new ones and picked them up tonight. Friday, we took Lydia (12) to the optometrist, as she had been complaining that she couldn't see very well far away. It turns out that she is a bit near sighted. (Daniel is extremely far sighted.) So we ordered her glasses yesterday, and also picked them up tonight. This is her first pair, and she really likes them. I think they look lovely on her.

So while I'm $300 broker now (after $100 times two, plus Lydia's optometrist appointment at $65 and the copay for Daniel's ophthalmologist appointment... ouch), at least kids' eyeballs are taken care of for a while!

The patch-free zone! 5-20-10

2010-05-20T21:27:00.014-04:00

Today was a monumental day in the Smith household. Today we took Daniel for his appointment with the ophthalmologist who pronounced that Daniel is officially now in the patch-free zone. Three years ago, we took him to the eye doctor for his regular 6-month check-up (because he has strabismus and wears a very strong prescription on his glasses. +6.0 on the left eye, and +6.75 on the right) and were told he had lost almost all of the sight in his right eye due to amblyopia. This began a journey of daily eye-patching the good eye to see if he could regain some sight in that eye. Some of it did, indeed, come back! In fact, today, with his glasses on, he's seeing at 20/50 out of that eye. Not great, but okay. We aren't going to patch anymore because at about age 8 or 9, the brain kindof sets the amount of eyesight we're going to have as permanent, and patching doesn't help anymore.

I'd love to tell you that we aren't patching anymore because his lazy eye issues are cured. That, however, would be a lie. It's more accurate to say that we got as much benefit out of patching as our DR felt we would. Since his last appointment in November, we've seen no further improvement, so it's time to put the eye patch away. Here's a pic of Daniel, looking highly irritated at his shutter-bug mom, wearing his UVA colors. This was taken about a year ago.

We also ordered his new glasses today. Same prescription, but his frames were bent and mangled pretty badly. It was just time. This isn't fabulous since we JUST replaced them at the end of last summer, his glasses being lost to a far-sighted fish somewhere out in the Atlantic Ocean. (You can read about that HERE if you like.) I probably could have gotten them repaired, but we really didn't want to deal with Walmart anymore because I wasn't satisfied with their service. I was highly shocked when they told me that they'd be ready by tomorrow, a far cry from the 3-4 weeks I'd had to wait when we were dealing with Wally-world. AND I got a great deal from VisionWorks in Charlottesville-- 2 for $99. Ours were actually 2 for $109, since he wanted one of the slightly more expensive frames, but I'm still VERY happy with the deal I got. Walmart usually ended up being aroun $80 for one pair.

Oh, and Emily- my oldest- was recently in an art show for her school and won first for painting. She sold her painting too to someone who was VERY happy to get it. Yay, Em! Here it is. I just thought I'd share it with y'all. Believe it or not, she did this on posterboard with acrylic paints. I was so proud of her!

Safety Pins and God's Love 4-28-10

2010-04-28T21:07:00.004-04:00

I love the cross, the ichthus, the dove and all the other symbols of our faith, but today the safety pin is a symbol of Christ's love for me. A safety pin? That's kindof weird, I know.

Today I was on campus and I was wearing a blouse that was slippy. What I mean by that is the blouse is supposed to sit a certain way, but it wants to slip over to the side, exposing part of my bra. It's not terribly low-cut. It just sits funny. And it moves, especially at inconvenient moments. As I was walking down the sidewalk, adjusting my blouse, hoping not to have a wardrobe malfunction today (which may not have been embarrassing to some, but would have been to me), I found myself thinking "I really wish I'd brought a safety pin to school with me today." At the very same moment, I looked down at the sidewalk, and there-- right in front of my foot-- was a safety pin, lost by someone at just the right time and place for me to have it. It was like God was saying in that moment that even though my needs may seem insurmountable to me, He's still paying attention to even the smallest things. Imagine how unlikely this scenario is... what are the odds (taking out the God factor) that I would happen upon just what I needed at just the moment I was thinking that I needed it? And if God chooses to provide a safety pin at just the right moment, why would I imagine that He wouldn't provide for everything I need?

It was a moment of reassurance in the midst of a challenging time for me, and I'm so very thankful for it.

What's on my mind tonight. 1-24-10

2010-01-24T19:47:00.002-05:00

Lord, let me not turn my eyes
Away from the hurting,
the lonely,
the heartbroken,
the ugly things of this world
that I wish would disappear
because it would simply be easier.

For you, oh Lord,
Did not turn from me
in my hurt,
in my fear,
in my sadness,
when I have been ugly
and certainly unworthy of your grace.

Singing the blackberry blues over here 1-16-10

2010-01-16T10:07:00.003-05:00

Spouse JUST got a blackberry yesterday, and since he got it, I haven't been able to get his attention. He's got his nose in the blackberry, trying to figure out all the features. This happens every time he gets a new gadget. He ooos and ahhhhs in amazement and until he has it 100% figured out, it's like we aren't even in the same room. Admittedly, this irritates the snot out of me, but it got me to thinking about the role of technology in our lives. Is it helpful? Or is it a huge distraction?

I think the answer to both questions is a resounding YES! It was very helpful to me this morning as I looked for an appropriate movie to take the kids to. I could read reviews online and get a sense of the movie I wanted to take them to, and I could easily find out where it was playing and when without picking up the phone to call the three different movie theaters. I also happen to enjoy being a blogger. Keeping up with old friends through facebook has been pretty cool too- people I would not ordinarily have continued contact with because of a lack of opportunity.

At the same time, technology can be a huge time and attention vortex! How many of us have intended to get online for a few minutes and gotten distracted by something and spent more time than intended with butt-in-chair? I can't help but wonder what the Old Testament prophets would have done if they'd had Facebook, twitter, message boards and the like. Would Ezekiel, upon seeing the valley of the dry bones have said, "Hang on. I've gotta tweet this!"? Would Hosea have posted pics of his kids on Facebook and tagged them as "not pitied" and "not my people"? Can you even imagine the flame war that would have been sparked when Jonah posted on Nineveh's premier message board that destruction was on its way and the people had better repent? Would they have gotten distracted from what God was trying to tell them by the pics of their best friend from high school's fortieth birthday party? Would they have said to God, "Can you show me that later? I want to watch this youtube video first."

I think the answer to this is like so many other things-- balance. Yet that balance is difficult to achieve for some. Scripture tells us that we are to be in the world but not of it. We want to be part of the culture, yet not allow it to completely take over our lives. We need to keep our focus on God, or we'll just become like everyone else. Our salt will lose it's saltiness. Scripture also tells us in Colossians 3: 23-24: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. The question we need to ask ourselves in every area of our lives (including technology) is, "Would Christ be pleased?"

Would Christ be pleased that Spouse has his nose buried in the blackberry? That's a question he'll have to answer for himself. If the blackberry can be used to further Spouse's ministry and help take care of the people, then probably yes, but I highly suspect Jesus would still want Spouse to pay some attention to me. Then again, that could just be my desire for attention speaking.

Happy Birthday! 1-12-2010

2010-01-12T16:27:00.007-05:00

to me! Thirty-eight is going to be a good year for me!

Whirlwind Weekend! 1-10-10

2010-01-10T18:36:00.009-05:00

Every have one of those weekends that are just plain exhausting? I had one this weekend. It was good, but jam-packed with running up and down the road!

Friday night was my anniversary. Spouse and I have been married for eighteen years now. What an awesome guy he is. I am constantly amazed that God could have found a guy who will put up with all of my quirks and weirdness! We didn't have an overly romantic date night. We went to get my haircut (that didn't turn out very well), stopped by US Cellular to get a hold put on his phone line because he'd misplaced his phone (found at church today- yay!), went to Walmart to get facial wash and a couple other things (I know some of you are just swooning from all this romance, aren't you?) and went to dinner at Outback Steakhouse. We also popped into Family Christian Store so that I could pick out some new Bible Study materials. (I'll be doing Beth Moore's Stepping Up study, in case you're interested.) True, not the most heart-fluttering dates, but I was with the one I love and that makes it all awesome. And just look at him! Isn't he a cutie??? He got me flowers too, just because it makes me happy even though he's always said he doesn't understand why women like flowers since they just droop and die on ya.

Saturday brought us a trip to Northern Virginia-- specifically Nokesville, VA, where my cousin lives. We had a slightly-after-New-Year celebration with family. Two of my grandmothers attended, along with my parents, my aunt and uncle, my cousin and her spouse, their four daughters and my cousin's spouse's dad and step-mom- and us, of course. I felt so blessed to be surrounded by family. Sometimes I really miss my cousin. She and I used to be so close, but the miles and the busyness have kept us apart in recent years. It was good to see her and her family, and I was amazed at how her children have grown up so quickly!

Today, I drove to Chesterfield with the kids to attend my brother's church (that's him in the pic below). Today he was ordained as a deacon there, and I am so proud of him! I am just amazed by the spiritual growth I see in his life, and I'm looking forward to seeing him grow in leadership there at his church! Afterward, we all went back to my parents' house, where we had dinner together. I missed my sweet Spouse, but he needed to be back at home. People tend to notice when the pastor doesn't show up to church on Sunday morning! Emily wanted to stop at Michael's on the way home, and we ended up being about 15 minutes late to youth group, but at least she has the paints she needs now. I'd love to say that I'm sure the folks at church were surprised by our tardiness, but most people who know me also know that time and I are not on good terms. I don't have a great sense of time, and - well- let's put it this way-- if it were not for Spouse, I'd be late to everything!

While it was a good weekend, I'm kindof looking forward to Monday just so I can rest! I say that, but tomorrow will be picking out paint for Daniel's room (my project for the last week of winter break for me) and going to the grocery store and no doubt, doing a million other errand-type things!

Diving Deep 1-7-10

2010-01-07T23:47:00.006-05:00

Tonight was a fussy night for me. A lot of things have been on my mind lately. Things that make me weary.

I sat down to read Scripture, and having no particular Bible study to currently follow, I went back to Galatians-- one of my favorite books. Galatians 6:9 is what popped out at me.

9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

You see, sometimes in ministry, we grow weary of doing good. It's not really the 'doing good' that we grow weary of, but rather the other stuff that comes along with being in a ministry family. People watch every tiny little thing that we do, and some of them do not give us the same grace they would offer themselves. (It is certainly not the majority of people- but a small vocal minority that just jumps at any chance to criticize.) Any mistake- anything that goes wrong - any heartbreak- all of these things are a chance for some ill-meaning people to pounce and attack. It gets so tiresome, and lately it's been causing me to want to give up. Sometimes, to be blunt about it, I get so tired of living in a fish bowl that I could just plain scream.

After praying for a while, I got up and was working on editing my pics from our trip last week. This guy popped out at me and made me laugh. You see, he lives in a fish bowl too- literally. He's a performer, with daily shows to amuse the tourists. I'm sure there are times when it grows tiresome for this little guy. But what he gets to do is dive deep. He gets to go down where the people's applause doesn't affect him. He gets to be in his bliss. The water brings refreshment and life for him.

Likewise, water (representing the Holy Spirit) should bring refreshment to God's people. Diving deep applies here to diving into the love that God has for us, diving deep into His word and spending time alone with God in prayer, inviting the Holy Spirit to surround us and fill us up again. It doesn't matter if the people applaud or even if they boo. When you dive deep into the spiritual water, you can't hear the applause anyway. It's just you and God. You and the Savior. You and the Holy Spirit. And in that deep water, you can heal, you can play, you can laugh again and you can gain strength so that you won't grow weary in doing good.

Lessons from a Snail 1-5-10

2010-01-05T19:19:00.006-05:00

I wanted to share a pic I took last week. It was on the day that we went to Epcot, New Year's Day. (I shared this originally on my 365 blog, but then decided that I was actually too busy to do one, so I dropped the project.)

This tiny little guy was no bigger than the end of my pinkie. (BTW, I LOVE the macro function on my little camera!) He was happily creeping down a post just outside of the entrance gate to Epcot. People were milling all around him, happy to be celebrating the first day of the year in one of Disney's parks. Did this little snail care? No way. He was just steadily making his way to wherever it is that snails go, undistracted by the garishly-clothed tourists and their unruly sugared-up children.

He made me think about my own life- how I tend to be distracted by the agendas of other people, distracted by other people's problems and other people's criticisms. The busyness and bossiness around me can sometimes leave me feeling dizzy and agitated, especially when rude people take the opportunity to criticize my life because I'm not doing what they want.

Instead, I need to be more like this little guy-- focused on going where I know God wants me to go, in His timing, not at the pace other people set for me. I need to be happily doing what God would have me do, and ignoring criticisms and distractions. I need to be quietly following the path that God has for me. I need to be unconcerned about what others have to say about it. I have no doubt that some will stop and stare, just as I stopped to snap this little guy's picture. Some may even try to flick me off of my post, as a little kid did just after we walked away. My responsibility is to keep on going where God would have me go, despite the meanies and the well-meaning bossies. What they want from me is unimportant. What counts is what God wants from me-- where He wants me to go and the way that He wants me to do it.

Home again, Home again. 1-5-10

2010-01-05T17:36:00.009-05:00

Home at last! We had a great trip, but it's always good to come home to the house that loves me. We actually got home Sunday afternoon, but yesterday was my day to recover and restock the fridge. We took the train down to Florida- a 16 hour trip that went over night. Have you ever tried to sleep in a train seat? Oh my gosh. My body was hurting head to toe, and I have never in my life been so happy to get where I was going! I would repeat the experience, only I'd bring my own pillow and an adequate blanket.

We started out the trip with an air boat ride to see some wildlife, including alligators, of course. That was a lot of fun. Cold too, as the temperature in Florida last week was NOT the lovely 70-something that I'd been expecting. Due to a cold snap, the evenings were in the low 40s. Not nearly as cold as at home, but still cold for Florida!

On Tuesday, we went to Hollywood Studios. I probably enjoyed this the most, as there were the smallest crowds. Best ride in the park- Toy Story Midway Mania. It was something I could ride, despite my tendency to get a bit motion-sick and my spinal issues, and it was just fun. Daniel really enjoyed the Jedi Training Academy show. What 7 year old boy wouldn't? For that matter, Spouse really seemed to enjoy it too, being the big ole Star Wars geek that he is. I love that nerdy man! They also had an amazing Christmas lights show

Wednesday Magic Kingdom, which was crazy-crowded, but I managed to run into a friend from about 10 years ago. How wonderful to travel 750 miles away from home and run into someone! It was good to catch up with her and her family, even though it was brief, as we were both doing the theme park thing! My favorite in Magic Kingdom was the Tiki Room. Silly, campy, and a memory from when I went to Disney at the tender age of five. Spouse thought it was just goofy, but ppttttttthhhhtttt on him. We also rode Pirates of the Caribbean, but skipped It's a Small World because of the two hour wait. Spouse was quite pleased to skip that, since he'd gotten stuck on that ride when he was 15 and spent an hour or more listening to the tune.

Thursday was Sea World, which feels a lot like Busch Gardens-- appropriate because the Busch company owns that park too. We, of course, saw Shamu and a few shows, rode a few rides and had a good day. We even saw Santa there who offered us a free ticket. Too bad we'd already bought them. I hope he found someone else with whom to share the ticket. At least we know where Santa vacations the week after Christmas!

Friday was Epcot, with cold, cold rain. Brrrr... And Saturday was Sea World again (as they had a BOGO deal- buy one day, get the second day free) and then back on the train. Coming home was actually a 17 1/2 hour trip. Not sure exactly why, but there were several slow-downs and stops along the way that were not at stations. It was a whirlwind trip! I really needed yesterday to recover from it too. Very thankful to my mother-in-law and her spouse for the trip-- what an awesome Christmas gift for our family!

We all enjoyed it, but we were all ready to come home! Aaron was glad to get back home to his new bass guitar, although his amp arrived broken while we were gone. :( Still working on taking care of that. Lydia was so happy to get back to her new bike. Emily was happy to be able to see Joe- the boyfriend- yesterday and I think Daniel was glad to be back in his own bed.

We came home to an undecorated house, which was a little sad, but very necessary. Who wants to come home to a dried out Christmas tree, anyway? For those of you who may be considering a Disney trip for the week after Christmas 2010, you should be warned that this is the most populous week for the parks. Awesome trip, but really really crowded. Try the off-season- fewer people and just as fabulously fun!

First Day of 2010

2010-01-01T21:50:00.011-05:00

We spent today in Epcot. It was a very busy day and a good one, but it was also a day in which ducks were in their bliss! Rain fell from the sky in buckets for most of the morning and early afternoon.

More pics to follow, when I return home, but for now I'll show you my children, happily eating fish and chips in England... well, not quite England, but the English section of Epcot. It was cold and rainy and they were all irritated with their mom for taking their pic.... but they had a good day anyway. :)

Happy New Year! 12-31-09

2009-12-31T21:16:00.004-05:00

May you all be blessed in 2010! We're in Florida right now, due to come home Sunday evening. I'll share pics and updates with you when I return home. Long and short of it is that we're having a blast and we're officially exhausted from it by now. LOL.

Just some final words for you for 2009, no matter what the next 365 days may bring to us all, Scripture tells us in Jeremiah 29:11,
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

No matter what- the good stuff, the bad stuff and the stuff we just aren't sure about-- God's got it all handled. He knows what He has planned for us, and whether challenging or easy, it will come to a ripe and beautiful harvest in time- God's making something wonderful out of all of it. He's got a plan, and honestly, God can handle the planning much better than you or I ever could! Happy New Year, y'all!

Merry Christmas from the Smith household! 12-25-09

2009-12-25T19:23:00.014-05:00

What an awesome day! Today we celebrated the birth of Christ with all the usual trimmings and gifts for one another to enjoy. We had family. We had fun. And best of all, the kids didn't even fight with each other. What better gift for a mom of four???

I thought I'd share a few pics with you. The day started very early, with a lit tree and gifts underneath it....One by one, the kids began to emerge beginning with Daniel who was excited about Christmas morning and the prospect of gifts from parents, from Santa and from grandparents.

As the gifts were unwrapped, some of them experienced great joy and happiness. Aaron was pleased as punch to receive a bass guitar-- specially built for lefties. Unfortunately, the weather we had delayed UPS's arrival with his bass amp, but I am assured it will arrive by the 29th. (It's even on the truck-- why it will take this much longer, particularly when I paid for expedited guaranteed-before-Christmas delivery, I have no idea, but I'm being patient.) Emily, though she enjoyed her gifts was simply anxious to get back to sleep. Teenagers are like that, you know. Lydia was so happy with her Build-A-Bear moose, aptly named "Mary Chris".

After opening gifts, there were visits from grandparents. Spouse's mom and her husband came up and gave each of the kids a gift bag with gum, a bookmark and a little bar of soap in it. There were also stickers that said "Smith family luggage". The kids looked quizzically at their grandparents. Spouse's mom said "we're taking a trip". I don't really think they got it at first that they were going on the trip too... but eventually it came out that our gift from them this year is a trip to Florida! We're leaving on Sunday-- yes, two days from now, and I have to say that has been the hardest secret to keep from the kids! I've been keeping that secret since summer, when they started planning the trip.

Afterwards, my parents and my grandma came up and gave gifts and spent time with us. The kids are quite spoiled rotten now, and all-in-all, it's been a great day. At only 7:37, it feels like almost midnight. Tomorrow will be spent taking down the tree (since it was a live one and if we aren't here to water it, it will just become an ugly pile of needles and sticks when we come home!) and prepping for our trip. There's so much to do that I'm kindof exhausted thinking about it, and really excited about it too!

Twas the Night Before Christmas 12-24-09

2009-12-24T22:29:00.012-05:00

Just thought I'd share a few pics with you. The first two are of a giant snow lady outside of 330 Valley - a restaurant in Scottsville. I thought she was quite a creative use of the snow pile-up after our two feet of snow and the ensuing plowing/shoveling that took place afterwards.

The next is of Lydia, who was trying to be a really good sport yesterday as we were out finishing up a few pre-Christmas errands.

The last is the pic I took tonight of the six of us. It amazes me the difference from last year in how much the kids have grown and matured.

Merry Christmas! May your celebration of the birth of our Savior be a blessed one. Tomorrow is full of family for us- grandparents from both sides, so there will be much kid-spoiling going on here tomorrow!

Twas the night before Thanksgiving 11-25-09

2009-11-25T14:38:00.005-05:00

So happy about Thanksgiving tomorrow and the chance to see my side of the family in a place other than the hospital. :) My dad spent four days in the hospital last week with some mysterious brain-scrambling illness. He was confused-- like, MAJORLY confused-- and running a fever of 102. High white blood cell count, indicating an infection of some sort-- but they could never find it. I'm just glad my dad's okay now, even if after running every test under the sun they still don't know why that happened. I have a LOT to be thankful for, and indeed I am.

A dozen things for which I'm thankful :

God, who in His infinite measure of mercy and grace chose to send his son into the world that His creation might regain a relationship with Him
Spouse, who puts up with a ton of craziness from me
my kids, who also put up with craziness and are the cause of at least a bit of it
my church, who (for the most part) appreciates Spouse and me
friends- some old and some new ones- some even virtual bloggy friends
the chance to return to school after an incredibly long 'semester off' 17 years ago
extended family-- lots of it
a vision for what I want to be "when I grow up"
enough food
a home I love, even though it's being taken over by dust bunnies lately
an upcoming family vacation with my mother-in-law and her spouse (yay MIL!), that my kids don't even know about yet-- good thing they never read my blog, huh?
chocolate (this one probably explains some of my figure issues)

What are YOU thankful for? Leave me a comment and let me know.

Sand People 11-14-09

2009-11-14T14:29:00.010-05:00

Today has me thinking about Sand People. No, I'm not talking about the Tuscan nomads from Star Wars like this guy. Instead I'm thinking about those people in your life that get under your skin! Right now I have a pretty annoying sand person in my life. She's rude, she's obnoxious, and she seems to believe that we all are here just to do what she wants. I've never been anything but kind to this woman, but she goes out of her way to either try to boss me around or to snub me entirely. She is like sand in the wrong place in your swimsuit- hard to ignore and downright painful at times!

Before you think it, I should tell you-- no, I haven't forgotten that I'm a pastor's wife. More importantly, I haven't forgotten that I'm a Christian. But is it truly un-Christian to admit that there are certain people who just annoy the snot out of you? I'm absolutely positive that there were people in Jesus' life who more than annoyed him. For instance, he calls the Pharisees a brood of vipers. That's not just a casual, loving nickname-- he really meant that they were like a bunch of serpents. I honestly think Jesus would understand me wishing I could slap a little sense into one person in particular.

Scripture tells us to pray for our enemies. I have prayed ABOUT this woman, as in "Lord, did you see how she treated me?????" or like David who asked God to "break the teeth of my enemies" in Psalm 3:7. While I'm certainly not wishing massive dental pain on this woman, I do sometimes wish she would conveniently go away. I admit I haven't prayed FOR her. There is a difference. Perhaps instead of praying that God would fix her, I need to be praying that God would help me deal with her better-- or even that God would allow me to see her in light of His love.

I recently bought some pearls-- a really long strand of them to loop several times around my neck and look all pretty and fashionably dramatic. They were something I'd wanted for a long time, and when I priced cultured pearls, they were really expensive. So when I came across a mega-sale on an equally long strand of freshwater pearls (not quite what I'd wanted but pretty close), I bought them. Why? Because I think they are beautiful. Yet each little pearl started as a single grain of sand within an oyster's shell. Maybe I need to look at this woman not as sand in my swimsuit, but sand in my shell. People like her are helping me develop something beautiful and sought-after, but only if I deal with them in an effective way, not by removing the sand people, but by coating them again and again with God's love and forgiveness until they develop within me a beautiful treasure.

Halloween 2009 10-31-09

2009-10-31T19:43:00.008-04:00

The leaves are falling, the air is crisp and it's Halloween once again! This year was the first year that I did not accompany the kids on their trick-or-treating extravaganza. Alas, my knee is STILL busted, and I figured I'd be too much of a slow-poke for their candy gathering. So I've been at home, kindof pouting about it.

I did not really make costumes this year. Daniel (youngest) really wanted to be a ninja, and after coming across a brand-new ninja costume for $3 at a thrift store, it just didn't make sense for me to spend the time and money to make one from scratch. Of course, we had to buy a sword, but we would have had to do that anyway.

Lydia chose to be a bumble-bee. I found her wings, antennae and pin-on stinger as a set at Claire's. We bought her a yellow shirt at Michael's and put black duct-tape stripes on it so it can be just a tshirt later. (yes, I'm actually that cheap that I look for ways to make costumes out of articles of clothing that can be salvaged for later use.)

Aaron wanted to be Indiana Jones, if for no other reason than to have cause to carry around his whip that he made from duct tape. He didn't want my help putting his costume together, as he felt he was much too old for help from mom. At least he dressed up this year. The past few years, he has been a Halloween humbug.

Emily chose not to dress up, but wanted to accompany Spouse and the kids, with boyfriend in tow.

I've only answered the door a few times, as we are in a bit of a rural spot and we don't get many trick-or-treaters. To be blunt, I hadn't realized how much I enjoyed taking the kids out until I just couldn't today. Knee was hurting too badly. But I know they will have fun with Spouse and will likely come back with way too much candy. Hope you enjoyed my pics. If you'd like to see last year's pics, I have them here. The kids are growing up so fast!

Brrr 10-16-09

2009-10-16T23:36:00.005-04:00

Tonight was the Homecoming Game at the High School. The Fluvanna Flucos lost, which is sad for a Homecoming game, but oh well. I still haven't defrosted my toes! It was COLD. Still, I'm glad I went. This was the first football game Spouse and I have been to since high school. Here's us, all bundled up in the cold. Well, three of us. The oldest two were off doing the social thing, and Daniel did NOT want his picture taken. He was busy being as cool as you can be when you're seven. Fortunately, Lydia isn't too cool to have her pic taken with her Mom and Dad!

Scripture du jour 10-15-09

2009-10-15T11:47:00.006-04:00

I've somehow managed to lose my habit of committing Scripture to memory.

This one is my Scripture du jour-- or rather Scripture de la semaine since it'll take me a week to get it firmly planted into my brain (though Scripture du jour sounds so much better). I came across it a while back when I was in a luke-warm funk, and it has been up on my Facebook page for a long time-- but it hasn't become part of me yet. Time to memorize it and make it part of my personal spiritual arsenal to stave off flaming arrows and such.

Psalm 116:7-9

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.
For you, O LORD, have delivered
my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

It's a reminder to rest in God. Rest being something that few people are truly familiar with these days. Resting is not sleeping, so much, though it can include that. Rather, rest is being at peace- being at ease. It doesn't include worry or stress. It's being able to feel refreshed and reassured that everything will be okay. I think babies are the most rested people on the planet. They know their needs will be taken care of. They know they are loved. They don't worry about how to pay for things or how things will work out- they don't even think about it- they know they are in good hands. If they need something, they cry out to let us know- because they know that we'll take care of it for them.

And why do we know we can rest in God? Because he's taken care of us in the past. God proves himself again and again, and the reason for it is so that we can walk before him now- in the land of the living-- not so that everything can be better one day after life is over- but in the present. While we are among the land of the living, we are spiritually renewed so that our focus can be on the one who gives us rest.

Top Ten Things I've Learned Since Going Back to School 10-7-09

2009-10-07T19:24:00.005-04:00

Top Ten things I've learned since going back to school

Caffeine cannot replace sleep, no matter how desperately you wish it could.
Regular standards for housekeeping are impossibly high while attending school full-time.
There is a direct correlation between how badly you need to have quiet time to study and how loud your children will be in the background. (The more you need quiet time, the more likely that the kids will be wild and need your attention.)
No matter how many times you tell people where you're going to school and what degree you're working on, some of them will still ask again and again, because apparently it's just that easy to forget.
Older students flock together.
Never never never wear the cute shoes. Just go with the foot-loving tennis shoes.
Don't discuss children with younger students. They don't get it.
ALWAYS bring an umbrella. Neglecting your umbrella will attract clouds to the immediate area and you will have to show up to class looking like you just went down a water slide.
Bookstores are fabulous places to be when you have a couple of hours to kill between classes. Just DON'T bring your credit card with you!
Most of the young students will pretend you don't exist until they need the wisdom of a mom and don't want to ask their actual mom.

Busy but blessed! 10-04-09

2009-10-04T19:05:00.010-04:00

The weekend began with an annual occurrence here in the Smith household-- Lydia's birthday slumber party. As the nineteenth hour approached, the party at my home grew a little bit bigger and bigger and most definitely louder, as squealing girls arrived one-by-one. And there was much giggling and painting of nails. And no sleep, of course, despite it being called a slumber party. Ten AM arrived the next morning, and no one was fully awake, despite being technically awake and dressed and ready for parents to arrive.

Saturday evening, we took Lydia out to dinner for an early birthday celebration. Her birthday is actually today, but we had so much going on today that we were afraid that her birthday celebration would be eclipsed by other things, so we did it a day early. How did that child get to be twelve?? I have no idea. In my mind, she is still the wild-haired four-year-old who could charm the socks off of anyone. (She still has that charm, by the way, but the hair is a bit tamer now.) Lydia, sweetheart-- your Mommy loves you!

Then today, after church, we had several baptisms in the Hardware River. In October. Yes, brrrrr.... BUT Daniel was among those baptized and I am so proud of him. He is growing so much spiritually! Greg has been so proud to be able to baptize each of his children. And I just get weepy-eyed over it. (not in a bad way, but in an "I'm a mom who loves her babies" way.)

Afterwards, my parents and my grandma Liz took all of us out to lunch (which was quite nice). I did manage to squeeze in a blissful nap that lasted longer than I'd intended! Right now, Lydia is likely now putting Sugar, the horse that she rides, back in her stable, and Spouse and the kids are all at church for evening activities. At the moment, I'm supposed to be studying for my Human Societies and Globalization mid-term, but I still need to write my article for the Southside Messenger tonight since my deadline is tomorrow at 10AM and I will be in class then.

Even though we have been crazy-busy all weekend, and pretty much everyday for the last few years, we are so blessed. I admit I'd be very happy to have a nice break from so much busyness, but certainly not from my family. Birthdays, spiritual milestones, and the daily happenings of a house full of kids-- what could be better?

Dear Pastor 9-27-09

2009-09-27T23:54:00.009-04:00

In addition to being a blogger, I also read a lot of blogs. One of my favorites is Beth Moore's blog. I'm one of her 5359 blog followers. (Wow- that's a lot of people!) Her latest post was about what she appreciates in her pastor. Funny, since October is Pastor Appreciation Month. Since it's coming up, I thought I'd do the same and post five of my favorite things about my pastor (in letter form). I left something quite similar in the comments on her post, but felt it was worthwhile to repost it here. What do you love about your pastor? Leave me a comment, please.

Dear Greg,

1. I love love LOVE that you are not only my pastor, but also my Spouse. It makes it particularly convenient since we both live in the parsonage!

2. I find it amazing that even this morning, as you were sweating in pain from kidney stones, you still managed to deliver a great sermon. And even though we frequently discuss what you're going to preach on throughout the week, you manage to keep my interest.

3. I love the time you spend with the kids in our church. Even though they are small, you treat them like they are the most important people in the entire universe.

4. I am so pleased with the way that you are just one of the folks. Even though we're come-heres and not from-heres, you've helped us all become part of the community, and in all the years we've been married, I've never seen you be pretentious about being in ministry. You're just here to serve God and His people and I think that rocks!

5. I love the way you tell people that your wife is awesome (even though I am dreadfully undeserving of such an adjective) and that you rarely tell stories from the pulpit that make me want to hide under the pew.

With love from your partner in ministry and in life,

A weekend away 9-9-09

2009-09-09T23:32:00.006-04:00

We had a FABULOUS time at the beach this past weekend. The weather was lovely, and the company wonderful. It was just great to get away for a few days as a family. Thought I'd share one of my favorite pics that I took this weekend. I just loved how it captured the water swirling up around Emily's feet.
I also wanted to share a pic Emily took of Aaron on the beach at sunrise. He was taking pics too, getting his tripod ready. They went down to the beach at seven in the morning, just so they could take pictures while I was snooozing away, sleeping in for a change. (I knew about it and had given them permission ahead of time...)

And just for good measure. Here's Lydia hugging the mannequin in the gilly suit at the army surplus store... not really sure why other than she just felt like being goofy...and Daniel with Lydia in the background, anxiously awaiting dinner and wearing his most piratey eye patch (he has amblyopia so he patches for a reason, not for fun)-- perfect for a weekend at the Outer Banks.

My baby's growing up! 8-29-09

2009-08-29T21:39:00.007-04:00

Emily got her learner's permit yesterday! And there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. (Just kidding) She COULD have gotten her learner's back in September of LAST year, but she said she wasn't ready. Truth be told, I wasn't ready either! But she finally decided a few weeks ago that the time had come to begin learning to drive. After one failed test, we had to push her to take a second "written" test (it's not actually written- it's on a computer-- but most people still call it a written test), and she passed! In Virginia, now you get a piece of paper to use for a few days until your permanent one comes in the mail. (I blocked out pertinent information because you just never know who's out there looking at pics of my kid.... I know YOU'RE not crazy, but you just never know who else is out there looking!)

I took her driving for the first time today. Around the church parking lot. We parked the car, backed out of parking spaces, drove in circles, drove around the church up past the cemetery... and then.... and then.... once she had the feeling of the car, I took my life in my hands and allowed her to go on the road. We drove two miles-- from church to home. While I'm pretty sure other people on the road may have been a little scared, I can see that she'll do well. And I won't hyper-ventilate. Well, maybe I will, but I think I did pretty well as a mom teaching her kid to drive. There were no shouts, no crying and no shrieks of "Dear Heavens! Are you trying to kill me?!??" I was pretty calm, and she was more scared than I was. We have a long way to go, but we're off to a pretty good start.

When I grow up..... 8-15-09

2009-08-15T01:04:00.012-04:00

I was thinking the other day about the dreams of children. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" is probably the most frequently asked question children get from grown-ups. And buddy-- they've got some aspirations! Isn't it amazing how there are no limitations on you when you're a kid? There's no height requirement if you want to be a basketball star. There's no need to have talent. If you want to be a painter- no problem- it's your dream, and you can tell people one week that you want to be a fireman and the next week a professional lightbulb installer. (wouldn't THAT be a boring job?)

At the age of four or five, I can specifically remember wishing that I could grow up to be a mermaid. This was before the days of Disney's depiction of merfolk. (Actually I really don't like The Little Mermaid simply because I think it teaches little girls that they should give up the essence of who they are for a man-- but that's another post entirely.) Being a mermaid, I thought, would be the greatest thing in the world! I loved to swim, and hanging out at the beach all day was my idea of bliss. That hasn't really changed, as I hold a special affinity for the place where ocean meets land, and I go there any chance I get! Of course, it didn't hurt any that mermaids were eternally young and beautiful and surrounded by an air of mystery.

Later in my childhood, I wanted to be a Mom and a teacher. I certainly became a mom! With four of my own children, plus one extra living with me, I think I fulfilled that one pretty well. I even feel motherly toward a significant number of my kids' friends. The teacher part is interesting. Now that I finally have a vision for what I'm supposed to be doing with the next chapter of my life, teaching is a significant part of that. While I won't be teaching children in a school setting, I'm headed for women's ministry. Specifically, I want to write and speak in a Christian setting, and if that's not a form of teaching, I don't know what is! So while I had given up that desire many many years ago, God's bringing it back around. How cool is that?

I think that kids sometimes pick up on what part they are meant to play. Not always-- obviously not every little boy can be an astronaut and not every little girl can be the first female president- but sometimes they get a tiny glimpse of what God has in mind. Clearly God designs each one of us with unique talents and interests that line up with where he wants to place us in the future. Some of us discover those quite young-- others have to wait a little longer to discover those hidden abilities that God placed in us from the beginning.

Jeremiah 29:11 tells us,

"...For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..."

Psalm 37:4 further tells us,

"Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart."

How amazing that God has plans for each one of us! A specific plan. No matter if we picked up on it early or if we managed to get pretty far along in our lives before discovering it-- even if we never get ourselves in line with it-- God still has a plan. And how amazing that when we delight ourselves in the Lord, He gives us the desires of our hearts. It's not that He grants wishes, like some overgrown Santa figure, but He gives us the desires that we should have when we have chosen to find our joy in Him. To me, there is no greater joy than to serve God. To think that I am relevant enough to the Creator of the universe that He should have a particular place for me to serve-- that's downright awe-inspiring! There are some days when I ask God, "Are you sure about this?" Those are the days when I am reminded that despite my failings-- despite my lack, He has a perfect plan for me-- a place where I fit exactly into the puzzle. All of the goof-ball things that I do and say don't come as a surprise to God. He's known me since before I even was! (Psalm 139) The most amazing thing is that even though he knows me better than any person on the planet, he still wants to use me. My failings are certainly not stronger than God's ability to use me!

Maybe God's still working out that mermaid dream after all. (LOL) I'm pretty sure that's not quite in line with God's perfect will for me. What did you want to be when you grew up, and have you fulfilled it? Or did you go in an opposite direction? Where has God led you, and is that in line with where you thought you'd be when you were younger? Leave me a comment... I'm curious.

An octopus comment 7-20-09

2009-07-20T23:42:00.010-04:00

A few days ago, we went out to lunch with some friends, and one of them made what I like to call an octopus comment. It's a comment that it manages to squeeze into your brain and drive you crazy! Octopi are known for their ability to squeeze into and out of small spaces. As long as the space is smaller than the octopus's beak, usually the octopus can get in there. It squishes and contorts until it manages to occupy the space.

The comment was "I don't even think of you as a woman."

Now, what he MEANT was "I think of you as my sister in Christ, not in terms of your gender exclusively." But what I HEARD was "You are not girly enough to think of in feminine terms- an androgenous blob of humanity." There was a small crevice in my thinking about myself- that somehow I'd missed out on the girly-girl gene and I wasn't feminine enough- and this minor comment that shouldn't have meant anything took on a life of its own .

Scripture tells us in Proverbs 12:8 "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

In the midst of all this I have to wonder how often I have carelessly said something that made others say, "What exactly does she mean by that?" How many times do we say something and presume that others know what we meant, but it just comes out wrong? Pretty often, I think, if we're honest with ourselves. It's true that you can never know what's going on in someone else's head, but I think sometimes we need to tread carefully. Maybe it's not a great idea to tell people that we don't think of them as a man or as a woman. I'm sure I'm not the only one who would have developed a complex over such a statement. Or maybe I'm just weird. But at any rate, it's made me rethink some of the goofball things I say to others, even just in passing.

Thankfully, Spouse was there to talk me out of my little crisis of femininity before I went out to the mall to buy an all-new frilly fru-fru wardrobe. He reminded me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and that I am woman enough for him. He also reminded me that no self-respecting man would EVER scream like I do at the sight of a centipede or be caught dead in the wardrobe that I do own. Whew! Crisis averted.

Lots of fun, but NO REST! 7-18-09

2009-07-18T20:52:00.010-04:00

Thursday, Spouse and I took the kids plus one extra to Busch Gardens. This is one of the fabulous things about living in Virginia-- just lots of cool stuff to do! (Busch Gardens is a theme park if you aren't familiar with it. ) Unfortunately, Brandy couldn't come with us, since she had to work, but as she let me know earlier in the week, she's just not a theme park kind of person anyway.

I'm quite serious when I tell you that we spent every bit of $500 Thursday-- and we were being somewhat conservative with our money! When it's $50 a person to walk through the gate (and that's WITH a $10 off per person coupon!), plus $12 to park-- well that just gives you an idea of how that $500 evaporated. Spouse and I were talking on the return trip about how we are an odd family because we place such a high priority on spending time with each other and making the kids' childhoods absolutely fun! But when you're in ministry, and your 'normal' weekends (in addition to most of your weekdays) become suddenly cluttered with visitation and special church events, it becomes hard to spend an adequate amount of time together as a family unless you're intentional about it! Going away to a theme park is taking a day away from the cell phone and away from the parsonage.

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE our church, but there are times when you just need to be a family.

It's now Saturday evening, and even though we did little on Friday, and little today, aside from spending the afternoon lazing about at the Rivanna River, we've done nothing. Yet we're still so exhausted. We were quite exhausted BEFORE our little excursion. This just added a little extra tiredness. LOL Here's a few pics of our kids, plus an 'extra'- one of Aaron's friends who liked to do what he called 'the Asian picture dodge'- so I have almost no pics of him. Goofy child. (For the record, Daniel is actually Asian, so he wasn't being xenophobic by saying that-- just being silly. ) Really confusing day too, since his name is Daniel, and our youngest is also Daniel, so both would look up whenever you called one of them.

Spouse is looking like every bit of the uncool dad here, which was okay with him. For Father's Day last year, I got him a shirt that says "way cooler than my kids think I am". He really should have been wearing that one Thursday. He is a really cool guy in my book, even if he's looking like every bit of a goober in this pic!

Yes, Jesus loves me 7-14-09

2009-07-14T20:21:00.006-04:00

Today, Spouse and I accompanied our JOY group (Just Older Youth-- our seniors) to a nursing home to sing. Most people I know do not enjoy going to the nursing home. It brings us face-to-face with some of the more frightening aspects of growing older and needing others to care for us. Losing our memories, our ability to walk, even our ability to make our own decisions-- all of these things are, if we're honest with ourselves, a bit scary. Looking around the dining hall, there were some who were sleeping, some who were singing along, and some who seemed to be in their own little world.

One of the songs we sang was Jesus Loves Me. When I saw what we were going to sing, I admit that I felt like it was a bit condescending. Yet as we sang it, some of the sleeping ones perked up and started singing along. The dear lady who held a baby doll as if it were a real child sang it softly to her charge. One gentleman, who had been looking everywhere except at us, suddenly paid attention. They all sang along. This song just spoke to their hearts. It's beautiful in its simplicity and familiar to most of us, yet how often in the busyness of life do we forget that Jesus does, indeed, love us- even when we are at our most unlovable?

Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but he is strong

Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
For the Bible tells me so.

Family funeral 7-13-09

2009-07-13T21:59:00.006-04:00

Today we had a family funeral. Spouse's aunt passed away quite unexpectedly. Walking up to the gravesite for the interment, I looked around and saw this statue. Jesus, even in the midst of a garden of death, reaches upward toward the heavens, bringing praise to God.

While I'll admit it was a bit strange to take a picture in a cemetery (I took it AFTER the service-- don't worry), I just really liked it enough to want to put it here for y'all to see.

It reminded me of Psalm 137 : 7-12, one of my favorite scriptures...

Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night," even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you.

pics! 7-3-09

2009-07-03T12:07:00.009-04:00

I finally replaced my digital camera. Popped the SD card in from vacation and my pics were there! Hurray! I was most upset about having lost Aaron's eight grade dance pics, and they were on there too! I'm still incensed about my pretty red camera dying. I thought I'd share a few pics with you, and a video of the ocean breathing in and breathing out, reminding us all to do the same. I'm certain the ocean misses me. Alas, it will be a while before I can go back again.

An expected visit from the Tooth Fairy! 6-17-09

2009-06-17T22:16:00.003-04:00

Daniel wanted me to share this pic with you. He's showing off his latest dental status. He officially joined the Tooth Fairy's club. He lost his first tooth today. At 7 1/2, it's about time!

Things I'm hiding in my heart 5-3-09

2009-05-03T20:38:00.006-04:00

Two weeks ago, I started back to memorizing Scripture. My plan is one every two weeks or so, which doesn't sound like a lot until you consider that 26 Scripture passages can fit nicely into a year. The last Scripture was Zephaniah 3:17, which says (typed from memory-- yay me!). The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save! He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with his love. He will rejoice over you with singing." I still LOVE that Scripture.

This time around, I'm working on Philippians 4:4-7 (NOT typed from memory- LOL)

Rejoice in the Lord always.
I will say it again: Rejoice!
Let your GENTLENESS be evident to all.
The Lord is near.
Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The part where it says "Let your gentleness be evident to all" is a tough one for me. I tend to not be terribly gentle. I tend to say what's on my mind, sometimes to the point where I regret it. I can be overly blunt at times, but the Holy Spirit is working on that one in me. I recently fell flat on my face on the gentleness front. I hurt someone's feelings. I didn't even consider that it might have offended them. BUT when it was brought to my attention by a third party, my response was that was their problem, not mine. I said that I did nothing wrong, and that they had no right to be offended. Basically I was offended that they were offended. Wow. Is that really how I think Jesus would have responded? No way. Instead, my response should have been to go to that person, gently right the wrong, and move forward in a restored relationship. When someone has a sore toe that you know about, you shouldn't stomp on it. That's just not cool on any planet.

One thing about this passage---you'll notice, the verse doesn't actually say "try to gain more gentleness." No, there's a presumption that we ALL have a gentleness that we merely need to access. All of us can be kind. We can all be sensitive to where others hurt. It's part of the Christ-nature that we SHOULD all be cultivating in our lives. Part of the new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation. The old is gone. The new has come." (BTW, that was the very first Scripture I ever committed to my heart-- way back when I was 16 or so.) Gentleness is one of the fruits of the Spirit too, and if we are ever to show the fruit of the Spirit in our lives, we've got to get past ourselves and work on these things! And that totally includes me as well!

A Day in DC 4-24-09

2009-04-25T00:14:00.010-04:00

Today was utterly exhausting, but worth it. Spouse and I went with Lydia's fifth grade class to Washington, D.C. If you've never been, you should definitely go. We are very blessed as a family to live so close to D.C. and about a million other chock-full-o-history places to visit.

Lydia really enjoyed the day. We walked our legs off, and I ended up with a sunburn (ouch.). Because we'd driven separately and parked in Fairfax, we took the Metro in. And we promptly lost track of her class. Ooops! But we did manage to catch up with them a little later, and it was wonderful to have a day together. We started off at the Museum of American History, then on to a few monuments (World War 2, Washington and Lincoln memorials). Then to the Museum of Natural History. Despite all the interesting educational stuff, I really think Lydia enjoyed the ducks in the reflecting pool the most, if such things can be judged by how many pics there were of the ducks.

All in all, it was a great day. We got back much later than expected too, as neither Spouse nor I were thinking about the traffic. Makes me really glad to live in the country!

I'm including the video she took of the ducks, just because she found them fascinating. The ducks didn't seem to care that they were swimming in one of the most-visited places in our country, nor did they seem to care that the water wasn't particularly clean.

Scripture du Jour 4-15-09

2009-04-15T12:56:00.006-04:00

I've started back to working on memorizing Scripture-- a hiding God's word in my heart thing. This week's Scripture is:

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

To give you just a bit of background, if you haven't read Zephaniah-- it's a pretty short read. Just three little chapters. Zephaniah is prophesying against the complacency of Judah, and their dual-mindedness, as well as outright idolatry. How appropriate for the church today? He warns that God's got a pretty good smack-down in store for those who have left his ways to follow the ways of the world. In this particular verse, he's speaking to the remnant of Judah that will be preserved-- the ones who are truly righteous and holy-- those who continue to follow God, even in the midst a culture that has been so watered down that they've forgotten all about God.

I love the imagery of God delighting in those whom he has saved... that God would rejoice over them with singing. Can you even imagine what it would sound like to have God, who created the universe, singing as an outpouring of his pure joy and delight in those whom he loves?

The part about quieting us with his love-- that in particular speaks to me today. I've been all discombobulated lately-- thinking and stressing and flipping out just a bit over figuring out the financial end of my desire to go back to school, among other things. I've been worrying over whether going back to school is just a selfish thing-- and what will it do to my family? How will they deal with having mom around a bit less? So when I read this, I got the image in my mind of Jesus just reaching out to hug me, holding me close to his chest and saying "shhhh. Everything will be okay. I love you." The image just brought comfort and joy to my heart~ not only that Jesus knows who I am and what's worrying me, but that he'd quiet me with his love~ a gentle hug with strong arms, letting me know that no matter what, his love for me is secure. How amazing is that?

Good Friday 4-10-09

2009-04-10T23:19:00.006-04:00

Good Friday-- that's such a strange term for the day of the year when we reflect on Christ's death by crucifixion. For many countries, (Australia being one), all the shops are closed on Good Friday. Not so in the US, where it was business as usual for most. While I'd love to say it's only the non-Christians who ignored this day, I have no doubt that most Christians have ignored it as well.

I find it rather sad that even within the Christian church, we've forgotten what Jesus went through. We tend to be content with the laughing Jesus who loves us. The suffering Jesus- the Christ who showed his ultimate love for us by taking on the burden of the sin of the world-- we tend to forget all about him. We forget how he was rejected and despised, beaten and bruised and ultimately murdered in a gruesome way. He gave up his rightful place in heaven to come down here and endure a horrific death. Not only did he suffer physical pain, but the rejection of God himself, as he took on our sin, all the ugliness that fills the hearts of humanity. He gave himself in our place, yet we don't even seem to appreciate it or even think about it that much.

Or, even worse, we pretend that we would not have done the same things to him, had he been born during our time, in our country. We see Peter denying even knowing him, and we think, "Tsk tsk tsk.. that would never have been me." How quickly we forget that the time and place where Jesus walked is not really that different from our own. Sure, we have more technology, but people are still the same, no matter where you go. A quick read through Proverbs will show you that people face the same temptations now as they did thousands of years ago. It's not new stuff. Faced with the fear of death or incarceration, each of the disciples fled the scene. Can we honestly say that we would do any differently?

I really think the modern church has lost touch with what Jesus has done. We get so caught up in music, in committee meetings, in petty squabbles and irritations over someone sitting in our special pew. I'm just as guilty of falling prey to these distractions as the next person. It's all just silliness when compared to what Christ endured on our behalf. Why should we even care what color someone picked for the carpet? Shouldn't we instead be grateful for what God has done in our lives? And shouldn't we want to let others know about what God could do in their lives?

The Christian church has been here for two thousand years or so. Do we think our work is done? Do we think it's okay to just sit in our pews and let the world go by? Where is our passion? Why have we stopped caring? I really don't know. Perhaps in a collective way, we seem to think that the statute of limitations is up on Jesus' redemptive work. Funny, though, because we are perfectly happy to accept forgiveness for our own sins, yet we shrug off the need to spread the word to others. We shrug off the need to encourage one another and bear one another's burdens. We think to ourselves, "someone else will do it." Yet, where would we be if our Redeemer had said the same thing?

Freedom in Christ 4-10-09

2009-04-10T08:50:00.009-04:00

This morning, I was reading in Galatians. Specifically Galatians 5. That particular chapter of Galatians is all about legalism. There were some folks preaching at that time that in order to follow Christ, people had to follow the Jewish law, including circumcision practices. This is not much different than some of what we have going on in the church today. (please note: I'm referring to THE church, not my specific church-- the church in general) While the issue isn't circumcision, some Christians seem to enjoy going around making up arbitrary rules for one another-- creating an 'us and them' mentality. Whether it's over the 'correct' fashions, tattoos and piercings or any number of other cultural buzz topics, it's there. Legalism is, unfortunately, alive and well in the modern Christian church.

I love what Paul has to say on the matter, though.

Galatians 5:1 says, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

Because we (Christians) have been set free from our sin, not through our own works, but through grace, we should embrace that freedom. We have no business rechaining ourselves. Now, I don't mean to embrace it by going out and sinning all we want. Scripture is clear on that, but embracing it by way of not putting random rules on one another. Not judging one another on stupid things. Jesus thinks I'm awesome...and you're awesome. I believe he is delighted in our differences, in our individuality. God made me to be me- not you. He made you to be you, not some other person. So long as we are seeking to follow him, I don't think it matters that much if we wear white after Labor Day or if we use a little too much hair product to achieve that "wild thing" look.

I have the privilege of having a one person in my life who just doesn't fit the typical Christian mold. She's a little rough around the edges. Different. A little bit wild in terms of how she presents herself. She is one of the coolest people I know, and she is very committed to Jesus. Some people see how she is dressed and instantly reject her, as if having a gauged ear somehow exempts her from the love of Christ, or wearing black and having a tattoo or two means she is a satanist. How sad is that?

Galatians 5:15 tells us, "If you keep on biting and devouring one another, watch out of you will be destroyed by one another."

It's time the church quits all this nonsense and begins to accept one another as different parts of the body of Christ.

Galatians 5:6 says, "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."

How different would the church be if we embraced this idea-- that faith, expressed through love, is what we are supposed to be all about?

Home again 4-5-09

2009-04-05T21:45:00.007-04:00

Spouse, kids and I all took a little jaunt out of town this weekend. It was good to get away, and good to come home again. Mainly we visited with family.

Saturday, we decided it would be fun to wander around Maymont Park in Richmond. It's a wonderful place right in the heart of the city... absolutely beautiful, and for such a lovely sunshiny day, it was a great choice. We took bunches of pics. Just sharing two here for now.

I also took a brief video of the kids. Who knew sliding down a hill (well-worn at that) could be so much fun? Why is it that we have spent so much on toys and theme parks over the years? All we really needed was a place to slide, and one with flowers at the top for Lydia to pick, since she just wasn't into sliding today!

Bible weirdness 3-30-09

2009-03-30T22:17:00.004-04:00

I bought a new Bible Friday. The reason I bought a new Bible is that mine has a broken binding and ooh so many notations in the margins-- to the point where sometimes my notations leave me no space for new notations. Yes, I'm a margin-writer. Weirdly enough, I agonized over which to choose. There are always fifty million different choices. (Okay, that's an exaggeration, but there are always lots of choices.) I wanted NIV, and I was leaning toward a Bible that was exactly like my old one. It felt familiar, and happy-making. Instead, I chose one that had a more stylish look- -apparently I thought I'd be a faithful fashionista or something. It had a teal and brown cover with pretty silver page edges, and it was not hardback. (I tend toward hard-back simply b/c being a margin writer, I like the fact that I don't have to bear down on anything.) It had good notes, and lots of space for my scribbles.

So tonight, I finally picked up my new Bible. For whatever reason, I'd still been using my old Bible. What struck me as I turned to today's Proverb-du-jour (Proverbs 30-- coordinating with the date) was that the pages are just too thin on this new Bible. There's no way I can even write in it b/c as I was trying to read this passage, I was really distracted by just how much bleed-through from the other side's print there was. Ick! If there's that much bleed-through between pages from the printing, imagine what would happen if I actually wrote in it! So now I have to take it back, because honestly, I think it's going to get on my nerves. No, I haven't written in it. I only read one little chapter of Proverbs before realizing that this is not the one for me. I plan to take it back and just get one identical to my old one. If I can't scribble in the margins without it coming through on the other side (and looking like an icky mess), then I just don't want it. Too many things occur to me that I want to go back and reread later. And yes, I'm cranky about having to take it back. Or maybe just cranky in general tonight. Not really sure which.

So here's a few questions to all of you who read your Scripture daily. Do you write in your Bibles? How important is the overall look of the Bible itself? Do you get as weirdly annoyed by a Bible that doesn't feel right (whether it's because it's not the right weight or whatever)? How attached do you get to your Bible? Or is it all just the same to you-- whether you pick up your old favorite or any old Bible? I'm really curious about this. Leave me a comment... please.

Something that breaks my heart 3-28-09

2009-03-28T09:06:00.008-04:00

Last night was a late night. We went out with friends to dinner and a movie. (We saw Duplicity, which was more concerned with plot twists than actual plot. It was okay, but for $17, I have to say "meh. Not so much.") These particular friends are from our last church, and we meet up with them about once a month at our half-way point, which happens to be greater downtown Farmville, VA. If you've never heard of it, I wouldn't be that surprised-- it's just not a huge place, but it has a few restaurants and the obligatory Walmart.

As you may have guessed, these friends are a couple. (We also had another couple out with us, though we don't usually all six meet up together.) What broke my heart is that the woman in the couple told me something that had been going on with them, news that was sad- news that was really just heartbreaking- news that had happened a week ago. She'd cried for three days straight, and I'd had no clue. I couldn't be there for them. I couldn't be a friend when they were in the midst of a very dark hour of mourning. I couldn't be there because I literally wasn't there.

There are times in life when location really matters. There are times when a phone call or an email just won't do. Only a hug and a shoulder to cry on can help. I can assure you that if we still lived in that community (Red Oak, Virginia), she would not have cried alone. While she had her Spouse, her family and other friends nearby-- so I'm actually certain that she didn't cry alone-- I admit I feel like a pretty lousy friend-- all based on geography. I know her Spouse took good care of her, just as he should, as they went through this together, but in hard times, close friends are supposed to be there too. There are times when in the midst of your grief, you don't want to pick up the phone-- and she didn't. Who could blame her? It wasn't about me.

This is one of the challenging things about ministry. What do you do when you love people, but God says it's time to move on? I realize that God has a lot of good work for us to do here, and I don't regret coming here one bit. I LOVE this town, these people, and serving where God wants us. We've kept in contact with this couple for going on three years since we left. They are very dear to our hearts. But sometimes you just want to be there- present to help people through the tough stuff.

Fruity Christians 3-24-09

2009-03-24T13:19:00.012-04:00

I was in Galatians the other day, reading about the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23. If you're not familiar with it, here it is....

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

I was thinking about all the normal stuff, like you can tell a Christian by the fruit in his or her life... like you don't plant a tomato plant and expect peaches to pop out on it. I've got gardening on the brain lately.

But what occurred to me is how often at least some of the fruits of the Spirit are not reflected in my own life. I know I belong to God. I have no question about that. But it made me stop and think. Can a Christian, who believes with all her heart and desires to please God, not reflect all of the fruits of the Spirit?

One of the fruits in particular tends not to show up really well in me. That would be the last one listed--- self-control. If you look at my waistline (and I'd kindly ask you not to) and at my checking account (again, please look away), you can definitely see two glaring places that I lack self-control. These are things I'm working on, but I've got quite a way to go. I'm just not a very self-disciplined person, and while I'd love to just say that's a personality flaw of mine-- really it could be better called rebellion. This is not something that I'm proud of, by the way.

So I was praying, asking God to increase my self-control by some divine means, when what popped into my brain was an easel. An easel? What on earth does that have to do with anything?

You should know that all four of my children show artistic talent, but the oldest one, Emily, is particularly gifted in this area. Her future plans have always included the word "artist". When she was twelve, I had the PERFECT idea for a Christmas gift. I gave her an easel. Not just any easel-- no-- it was a fully foldable French easel that had the drawer in it and everything. I stocked it with paints and brushes and special paper. It was a thing of beauty with a price tag to match. That year we splurged a bit on all of the kids because I was so bound and determined to buy this lovely easel.

On Christmas morning, she opened it with all of the usual exuberance that you'd expect from a twelve-year-old. She was smiling and happy and when it was open, she said "thanks," and shoved it to the side in her quest for other gifts. Wow. Not quite what I was expecting. Admittedly, there was that little selfish part of me that wanted to say, "Hey, kid-- don't you know what we got you?" But I quieted the urge to say it and thought "She's just so excited by Christmas morning, but she'll definitely love this easel in the days to come."

Not so. In fact, it sat folded under her bed for months. I'd gently ask her if she ever used her easel, and the answer was always "no." One day the following summer, as she was cleaning out her room, I found the easel in a pile of stuff to be gotten rid of. I was heartbroken. Did she not know how much I wanted her to have that easel? Did she not understand that was my way of recognizing her as a real artist? Did she not appreciate what I'd given her? Well, the answer was no, and she ended up giving her easel to another artist friend of hers who absolutely loves it and uses it daily even four years later.

Fast forward to two years ago, I asked Emily to give me some ideas for Christmas. Top on the list was-- you guessed it-- an easel. Against my better judgment that's what she got that year, and she actually uses it now, pretty much daily. I asked her one day "Why did you get rid of the one we bought you when you were twelve?" She said she didn't want one then, and she even went so far as to apologize (not necessary) because she had given it away.

Do you see where I'm going here? The fruits of the Spirit are gifts from God. (not the gifts of the Spirit-- that's another topic altogether.) They are available to every mature Christian, but sometimes, like Emily, we shove them aside looking for something better. They have still been given. They are freely available to us, but they lay there ignored and neglected. We hold onto the junk in our lives, but dismiss what God has given us. He knows what tools we need. He knows that love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control are all necessary for walking in the freedom that Jesus so dearly paid for. He sees the desires of our hearts and realizes to achieve them, we need these things. He wants good things for his children, but like the children that we are, sometimes we reject his gifts, looking for something that we think is better. It is distinctly possible to have a gift and just never use it.

Sure, I could wait to buy that Sparkly Whiz-bang (whatever that may be) until I have the money. I could practice self-control in that. I could even really examine my motives behind wanting it in the first place, and realize that it's not a wise investment of our hard-earned cash- again- self-control. But because I have shoved self-control under the bed to live with the dust bunnies, I'm more likely to buy it, and then maybe struggle a bit in other areas of finance. This is not wisdom.

This all makes me think about my grandmother's apple tree. Every year, it popped out with apples, and every year my grandmother would ignore them. They were there. The proof was all over the ground. My grandfather would even run over scads of apples with the lawn mower. But there were no apple pies, no apples for snacks in the fridge, no baked apples. The main reason was that my grandmother simply was not a fan of apples. So they ripened and fell and rotted on the ground. God wants his children to live juicy lives- full of the fruit of his Spirit. He doesn't want us to allow our fruit to be neglected, but it is a choice. We can choose to harvest the fruit of the Spirit in our lives, or we can let it just be something that we bump over with the lawnmower. It's there, but we choose whether to use those gifts to nourish our spirits or ignore them.

Blessed, exhausted, recharged and well, exhausted. 3-15-09

2009-03-15T16:13:00.008-04:00

At six this morning, I arrived home from the Living Proof Live for Pastor's Wives conference. It was pretty well awesome. Rained the whole weekend. Actually Friday morning we left in the SNOW!! (Second time this month it's snowed, which hasn't happened in VA in MARCH since I was a small child.) I was so tired I felt nauseous. At some point during our trip we were just laughing at nothing--- which I'm pretty sure is a sign of slap-happiness and sleep deprivation. I skipped church-- sorry, but getting in at 6 AM after driving all night is just not conducive to worship. I think the church will understand.

The conference itself was awesome. The company was even better. My friend April and I had an absolutely fabulous time. She is so much fun! It's shocking that she and I can have so much in common and so much to talk to when our backgrounds are so different. She's been all over the world, as a missionary. And me? I've never been out of the country. LOL I thank God for sending her into my life.

One sad thing-- I was supposed to meet up with the ladies from another blog I follow, but I forgot to bring their number and didn't have a laptop with me to retrieve it. I felt bad, but oh well. I really hope they had others to meet up with.

I cannot tell you how awesome our trip was. Perhaps a clue is how often in just these few paragraphs I've reverted back to my 1980s habit of using the word "awesome". Excellent teaching. Beth Moore is such an annointed speaker, and really spoke to the heart of pastor's wives. Is it weird that I spent so much money to go cry? LOL. Tears, laughter, joy, friendship, and the presence of God Almighty. Awesome, indeed!

We stayed at the Embassy Suites Airport-- beautiful place. Actually one of the nicest places I'd ever stayed. April and I did wander over to the Opryland Hotel Friday after the conference, because she said I needed to see it. Made our hotel look like a shack (which it definitely wasn't!). If you've never been, it's definitely worth running through the rain (because we were too cheap to pop for the $18 parking, so we parked elsewhere), getting sopping wet (see pic of us with dripping wet hair and washed away makeup) and spending an hour or more wandering through the lush indoor garden. Trust me when I say it is nothing short of amazing. We would have spent longer, but it was late. I want to ~~drag~~ bring Spouse there for the Christmas season... when all the lights are on the trees. Can't stay there unless some miracle happens and we are suddenly independently wealthy, but I'll settle for pretending. LOL. An indoor river, waterfalls, walking trails throughout. How amazing. Loved it!

A day at the downtown mall 3-7-09

2009-03-07T22:49:00.009-05:00

The kids walked my legs off today. (okay, not really-- I do actually still have legs. Good thing, huh?) We went to the Downtown Mall in Charlottesville. If you've never been, it's a really cool place- an outdoor shopping center with cool shops and musicians on the street, working for spare dollars. You can get the BEST doughnuts there at a shop whose name escapes me. (LOL)

We went into Antics, another of my favorite thrifty haunts, and we tried on many hats. Spouse ended up buying one, though not the one I took a pic of him wearing. Thank goodness! He actually bought the one Daniel is wearing. So a few pics for you to enjoy.

Someone should have shot that groundhog! 3-2-09

2009-03-02T12:28:00.011-05:00

Snow. Yes, snow. This was taken last night. This morning, we had at least six inches of snow. On the second of March. In Virginia. This hasn't happened since I was a kid. There hasn't been 'real snow' since the blizzard of '96, and that was ridiculous for here. Have I mentioned just how much I want spring????? Someone really should have taken care of that ground hog a month ago on Ground Hog Day!-- maybe we'd be having happy flowers popping out of the ground by now-- but noooooo... he had to go and see his shadow. Bad groundhog-- BAD groundhog!

So a few pictures of Daniel and Emily playing the snow. Yes, Emily IS wearing a bathing suit. Being her 16th birthday, she decided it was time to do something stupid, so that she could look back and tell her children that it's unwise to dance in the snow in your bathing suit.

Apparently her mother telling her this was not enough proof. She's really a smart girl, so honestly, I have no explanation for this particular thing.

And since it's Emily's birthday, she got one of the things she asked for-- some new water colors to paint with. (She's my little artsy-fartsy child... she doesn't particularly care for that title, but I gave it to her anyway!) The idea was to make some cute flowers from the tubes of watercolor and some paintbrushes, so that it would be interesting, presentation-wise. Instead it came out dopey-looking... oh well. I tried. I also gave her a necklace that I made. She loved it. I can't believe that kid is 16! How did that happen?

Christ of the Deep 2-5-09

2009-02-05T23:41:00.004-05:00

I came across this pic online, and was just taken with it. This is Christ of the Deep, in John Pennekamp Coral Reef State Park near Key Largo, Florida. Apparently an Italian professor, Guido Galletti, wanted to pay homage to those who had died at sea. The statue is 9 feet tall and about 4000 pounds, made from bronze- covered in sea life and slowly corroding. Placed here, under 25 feet of water in 1965, it is one of the most photographed scuba diving sites anywhere.

When I saw it, I thought of Psalm 139:7-8, which says, "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there."

So if ever I feel the urge to go scuba diving, this is one place I will definitely want to go. Coral reefs, awesome sea life, and clear, beautiful water. Not to mention Jesus reaching upwards, reminding me that no matter where I go, He is always there.

Little guy's school party 1-23-09

2009-01-23T15:24:00.007-05:00

Cake and juice boxes delivered and consumed. Daniel's school party went well. (And no one gave me that "You're such a geek" look b/c of my earrings. So ha, Spouse-- HA!) Only eight students were in class today-- everyone else is out sick. One left while we were there. Yikes! So help me, if we all catch ANOTHER stomach bug, I'm just gonna cry. So I'm hoping this is the same stuff we had all last week, so that we can't catch it again.

Look at this guy! He's so big. Oh my gosh! And he still has chocolate icing in the corner of his mouth. lol. It seems like just yesterday he and I were sharing one space, and I couldn't wait for him to get here. Seven tomorrow. I can hardly believe it. Good thing he still loves his Mommy and doesn't mind getting hugs and smooches.

Give Thanks 1-14-09

2009-01-14T17:43:00.011-05:00

In my living room bookcase, there is a little sign that says "In everything give thanks." Yesterday, as I was laying on the couch as the victim of a horrible stomach virus, feeling like death would really feel much better- particularly since I wouldn't be puking or aching all over, I glanced at that sign and thought, "Give thanks, even in this?? Ya gotta be kidding me!"

This is one of those partial verses- part of one of my favorite passages in the Bible. The whole verse is I Thessalonians 5:18. If you back that up to verse 16 and run all the way through it says, "Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." It never once says, "Be joyful and give thanks if you don't have a stomach virus and if everything else in life is going fabulously well." It says to rejoice ALWAYS. This means even if you get a bad haircut (did that this week too), or if your car was just repossessed and your dog died (did not do either of those last two). Rejoicing always means in every situation and even when things go pitifully wrong, knowing that even if every bad thing happened to us, we still have Christ's salvation to hold on to, something that many people in this world do not have. It is a far greater treasure than anything we can possess in the physical realm.

Keep in mind who was speaking to the church in Thessalonica. It was Paul, Silas and Timothy (says so in the first verse if you want to look it up). These guys were imprisoned, beaten, left for dead, ridiculed, run out of town, and you can bet at some point they had a nasty nasty stomach virus. And they didn't have indoor plumbing or Pepto Bismol, yet they lived lives of thankfulness to God for what He had done for them. Should we be any less thankful than them?

So yes, as I thought about this and clutched my trashcan with great loyalty and appreciation for its plastic trashcanness, I also felt great thankfulness to God... partly because I knew the stomach virus would pass, but mainly because I knew that a great work had been done on my part--something that would far outlast this virus or even my life in general-- one that I could not have accomplished without my Savior.

So very spoiled 1-8-09

2009-01-08T11:27:00.011-05:00

Today is my seventeenth wedding anniversary with Spouse. Wow. That's a really long time. It's almost half of my life. It's 6210 days (5 of those years were leap years). That's 148,920 hours of putting up with each other. 8,935,200 minutes of marriage. 536,112,000 seconds of loving each other. At some point, he told me he loves me more every second he knows me. hmmm.. That's a whole lotta lovin'.

And truthfully, he spoils me rotten. I thought I'd compile a list of all the ways he spoils me and shows me love, but the list was much too long, so I narrowed it to my top 10. And I found an ancient picture of us from when we were dating. It's an aweful pic of me- not a good angle for anyone, and I'm wearing my denim jacket, circa 1991, but it's one of the few pics of us when we were young that survived the great basement flood of '99... and I've also posted a
more current one of us, from just a month ago when we went to the circus. You may notice a theme in these two pics, in that I'm not very photogenic, but this is me and my favorite boy.

Top 10 things Spouse does to spoil me (in no particular order):

1. He comes home to spend time with me even if it's inconvenient for him when I'm having a really bad day.

2. He's my biggest cheerleader, and actually believes that I am capable of all that God is calling me to do.

3. He laughs at my goof-ball jokes.

4. He has never made a disparaging comment about me having gained weight or my apparent inability to be a supermodel.

5. He takes out the trash, kills bugs, folds laundry, cooks and generally pitches in with the household stuff when I need him to. (I think I should probably send my mother-in-law a thank you note for that one.)

6. He understands what I'm saying, even when it doesn't make sense to other people.

7. He's a great dad, who isn't afraid to give smooches or tell the kids he loves them. While that's not exactly spoiling me, he's also never been afraid to change a diaper or find shoes on a busy getting-ready-for-school morning, or do any of the other things that just make him a fabulous father, which really helps me as a mom.

8. He never makes fun of me for my random crying bouts over things like Hallmark movies, touching songs and I Love You balloons. (Okay, that last one was while I was pregnant... I'm not completely sappy, you know.)

9. He tells me I'm beautiful, even when I have bed-head and no make-up.

10. He is honest with me. Whether it's because I'm overreacting to a situation or because I'm not taking care of myself, he is always one who kindly tells me what I need to hear.

On a completely different topic-- I will be doing the drawing for my blog giveaway tonight just before going out on our hot date to celebrate our anniversary. If you'd like to be included in that drawing, please sign up with a comment on my 1-1-09 post. Thanks!

Sleep sweetly, sweet sleepy 1-7-09

2009-01-07T21:48:00.004-05:00

Isn't she precious? You'd never know that on some days this little sleeping princess and I are locked in an epic battle of wills known as Teenager versus Mom. She's really a great kid, and seeing her snoozing away in my favorite squashy chair (because life as a teen is just so exhausting) reminds me of when she was just a little pumpkin who would run around the yard and twirl until she was dizzy and then come inside and snuggle up with me and take a long long long nap. What a sweetheart. Sometimes, even in the midst of the teen years, God lets us remember how precious our babies can be.

Christmas morning! 12-25-08

2008-12-25T10:03:00.008-05:00

In the aftermath of the mad ripping of paper and loud exclamations of glee, my home is quiet now, settled in and awaiting the arrival of my parents, my grandma, my brother, sister-in-law and niece. I've (mostly) finished my grandmother gifts. I decided instead of doing a jewelry piece (like I had thought to do at 2 this morning), I'd take a picture of the kids and frame it. It came out pretty well, although getting four children to all smile and look at the camera ended up being impossible. This was the best one of the pics I took, and they've run out of patience with their photographically challenged mom. I used my photo editor to kindof blur the background a bit, so that it's not so focused on my mantle and poinsettia. Not sure what I think of that, but (at the risk of saying something horribly cliche) "It is what it is."

Mental note: never ever ever wait until Christmas Eve or in this case Christmas morning to finish up crafting gifts. Further mental note: next year skip the crafted gifts. While I love the idea of handmade gifts, I apparently am just not disciplined enough to tackle hand-making things ahead of time.

Despite those challenges, it has been a beautiful morning. Sunny and cold, bright and calm outside. The kids are properly spoiled. Well, not actually spoiled, but they were pleased with their gifts, and the focus has been on spending time together, and we are all looking forward to an afternoon nap. Yawns and blessings abound.

Merry Christmas! 12-25-08

2008-12-25T02:08:00.005-05:00

It's 2:08 AM on Christmas morning. I have finished the gift for my mom, all my wrapping, my Santa-ing (new verb! woohoo!), but alas, not the gifts for my grandmothers. I will be seeing my family tomorrow morning "right after breakfast". In Mom-speak, that means probably 10AM. She will intend to be here by 8, but it just won't happen. Since my babies are sure to be raring to go at 6ish, I'm pretty sure I'll have plenty of time to finish my grandmother gifts. Here's the thing. I can stay up a little longer and have a profound headache, OR I can go to bed now and sleep for four hours. Hmmm... I'm thinking sleep.

Merry Christmas to you all, and just remember that the season isn't actually about all the gifts and wrapping paper, but about the greatest gift of all-- that the infinitely powerful and good God took on flesh as a human so that he could reach out to His own creation. Wow. Kindof makes all those stressy things seem kindof silly, doesn't it?

Guess who I saw in Charlottesville! 12-22-08

2008-12-22T22:51:00.015-05:00

I saw the Jolly Old Elf himself in Wendy's on 29 North today. He was kicked back, chilling with some chili and french fries.

He told me I'm on the Nice List this year, but to be careful that I didn't fall off the list and make it to that other list. So I'm minding my Ps and Qs for the next few days. I asked him if I could take his picture for my blog, and he said he didn't mind at all. Thanks, Santa!

Notice, Santa follows the "when in Rome" rule. Wearing orange in Charlottesville is always a good idea. (UVA colors are orange and navy blue for those of you who are out-of-towners.) I thought the Outer Banks hat was a particularly nice touch. Must be where he vacations. I can't say I blame him one bit!

Look at that guy! 12-19-08

2008-12-19T11:47:00.005-05:00

Look at that guy. Isn't he wonderful? He was supposed to go shooting, and it's raining and icky here, so instead he's helping me take care of some things that I was overwhelmed with today. Yay Spouse. I love that guy! Good thing too after almost 17 years.

Wow-- you know what's weird? I've been married almost half my life. Good thing I picked a good one!

While we're on the subject of Christmas songs...12-18-08

2008-12-18T21:42:00.017-05:00

I think I am quite possibly the only person NOT charmed by one of the most popular Christmas songs this year. I keep hearing it over and over on the radio. The dreaded Christmas shoes song!!

"Dreaded?" I can hear you say. "How could anyone dread hearing this touching song?"

First of all, when we see this little boy dirty from head to toe, it's obvious that Dad's gotten to be a bit neglectful. Clearly Mom's unable to take care of this, and Dad just didn't bother.

Second, Dad, in perhaps a momentary lapse of judgment, sends his little boy out to the mall BY HIMSELF-- a perfect opportunity for a kidnapping. Why would you do that? Not only is the little boy out by himself, but he wants the cashier to hurry because his Mom could pass at any moment. Now, I know I'm not the wisest person on the planet, but even I know that if your parent is dying, it's an important moment. It's not the time to go buy shoes for her. It's a time to be gathered around, supporting her with love, saying goodbyes, and dealing with the death itself.

Third, the child isn't even sent with enough cash to cover the cost of the shoes. Strike three for Dad!

The last reason is this weird spiritual side of footwear. What's that all about? It seems that the lesson dear old Dad is teaching this young man is that appearances are what matters, and by golly, Mom needs some pretty shoes to get into Heaven! Mom's not even going to take her feet with her to Heaven, so Jesus won't even get to see these shoes anyway! The body remains, but the soul goes to Heaven. You could be wearing soccer cleats or mukluks when you die, and I really don't think Jesus would be terribly concerned.

So call me evil, mean-spirited, goofy or just plain cranky lately, but this song has got to go. I love good Christmas songs. Some of them make me cry, but when it comes to this particular song, I'd have to say "Bah! Humbug!" and turn the station.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the song, here are the lyrics..

The Christmas Shoes lyrics

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes
His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Chorus:

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Bridge:

I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about

Repeat Chorus

And here's the video for those of you who wish to watch it... Blah! What's amusing to me is that the video is excerpts from the movie they made of the song. While I'm happy for New Song's success-- a movie???? Just amazing....

The Family Circus 12-13-08

2008-12-13T21:42:00.015-05:00

Today my family attended the Greatest Show on Earth! The circus came to town! The six of us, plus two more who aren't genetic family, but are family nonetheless, all packed into two vehicles and made the trek to John Paul Jones Arena. The show was wonderful! The acts were talented, the costumes were vibrant, the elephants were impressive and the tigers were cranky. (yikes!)

There is a certain big-top-induced insanity that I admit succumbing to today, indeed! In addition to the tickets and parking, we paid $10 for a bag of cotton candy with a hat. I've never known cotton candy to need a hat, but apparently all the cotton candy in this place had a penchant for haberdashery. We also paid $6 for a box of popcorn and $13.50 for drinks when we were all so parched from the various overpriced goodies that we couldn't stand it anymore! To me, though, it was worth it to enjoy the day with family doing something that doesn't come around all the time. Even my two teenagers enjoyed it! And all of them saw some friends there. Good friends, family, smiles all around, and memories made. How cool is that?

Big Question Mark 12-6-08

2008-12-06T09:04:00.008-05:00

Last night we went out to dinner with some friends and had a really good time. Coming home uber-late, the battery light on our van popped on. Hmm.. Not good. So we decided to see if it would carry us home without incident, and it did. I was thinking it could be the alternator, except that the lights weren't dimming or anything. So maybe it's a sensor. (fingers, toes and eyes crossed-- wait-- that last one wouldn't help). Not knowing for sure makes me nervous. Is it major? Is it minor? We won't know until we can get someone with real mechanical knowlege to take a look at it.

Life is full of great big question marks like that, isn't it? While our van issues were fairly minor (we hope), there are much bigger questions that people face on a regular basis. Will that lab test come back okay? Is it cancer? Will I be the one the company decides to lay off? Will I be able to make my bills? What will happen to my parents if their retirement fund isn't enough? What will tomorrow bring? It's the not knowing that is so very challenging. It's the fear of the unknown that brings terror into the hearts of even the most well-equipped people.

Psalm 20:7 says, "Some trust in horses; some trust in chariots; but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."

What have you put your trust in? Your good resume? Your car? Your health? Your family? All of those things can at times let us down completely. We can fall flat on our faces when what we have placed our trust in earthly things that don't deliver.

The good news is that God is still God, no matter what. He hasn't changed, even when the stock market is dropping like a rock, even when our economic outlook is bleak. He hasn't abandoned those who call on his name. That doesn't mean that bad things won't happen-- but knowing that God is there in the present, as well as in the future should bring us some comfort. Even when life hands us circumstances that are beyond anything we can control, God is still there. He's watching over us, working on our behalf and has the strongest shoulders in the world. Lean on him. He can take it.

On the Eve of Thanksgiving 11-26-08

2008-11-26T23:07:00.009-05:00

Tomorrow marks an annual celebration of God's blessings. It's a time when families get together and enjoy one another's company gathered around a huge feast and afterward slip into a coma-like state as we are stuffed more than the turkey ever was.

Yet for many people, Thanksgiving is a time to dread. Due to broken family relationships, they may feel like Big Bird here. They may feel like they are at the center of the feast, about to be carved into bits and devoured by irritable family members whose only desire is to tear them down. Poor Big Bird.

Before you say "how horrible", put down the carving knife and think about it. Is there 'that relative' that everyone likes to pick on? Have you participated in the picking? Maybe someone who really doesn't have his or her life together-- and everyone wants in on the action of straightening them out once and for all? I know I have a few relatives that everyone talks about, and really wants to 'fix'. Yet when we choose to try to fix someone, what usually happens is they feel backed into a corner and unwelcome at the family events that should be a time of togetherness. Most people who don't have their lives together already know it.

There was a particular event that I am not proud of that took place a couple of years ago. A relative of mine was headed down a very dangerous path and I was affronted by the way he didn't seem to care. I took him aside and gave him "what for" (a Southern term for tearing into someone in a highly critical manner) about messing up his life, and the effect it was having on his parents and siblings. It was very cathartic, and I felt like I'd really helped him out by pointing out the error of his ways. Admittedly I was smug about it. (not one of my finer moments, btw)

Did he listen to my 'wisdom' and change his ways? Absolutely not. Instead, he began to avoid me at family gatherings. His life continued to spiral out of control, and eventually he landed in some serious trouble that he could have avoided. The reason he didn't listen was that I approached him with the wrong attitude. Instead of showing someone who was clearly in pain all the love I could muster, I came after him with a flurry of insults. I didn't see him as Christ would have. I saw someone that I needed to straighten out, not someone who needed a listening ear. Would Jesus have told him off? Highly doubtful. Instead, he would have asked him if he wanted to find healing, and if he did, he would have provided it. I could have asked my relative if he wanted help. I could have kindly told him what I saw happening. Instead, I fed my own ego with harsh words of condemnation and I tore his ego down even further, which didn't need to happen.

This Thanksgiving, as we pass the mashed potatoes and the pumpkin pie, perhaps we should reflect on the words of my grandmother, who used to say, "Let your words be sweet, for someday you may have to eat them." Kindness goes a really long way, especially among those we know best and need it the most.

10-31-08 Kids, Costumes and Puppies

2008-10-31T22:37:00.017-04:00

I thought I'd share a few pics of the kids. At least the ones who went trick-or-treating. Lydia dressed as a butterfly. She put her own costume together. She is turning into a young woman before my eyes! I looked at this pic, and though-- wow- how did she get to be such a beauty? Daniel went as a bat. I did his costume, and it came out okay- not fabulous, but he was happy. He did mess up his face paint before I could get pics of him!!! It seems that those vampire fangs make him drool... lol... and well- I tried to fix it, but for whatever reason, his facepaint on his chin was messed up. The reason his costume glows on the back is I put reflective tape on his back, since he was dressed in black. Lydia's wings got it too, just to be safe when walking around in the dark.

The kids kindof fussed at me because I didn't do a costume this year, so Lydia put face paint on me, and had me wear her antennae, since she didn't want to, and I threw on a feather boa just to be completely odd. Usually if I'm going to have a costume, I choose to be something, other than just strange looking, but apparently not this year! Aaron and Greg chose not to dress up so no pics of them! Aaron did carve our pumpkin.. so this year again we had a puking pumpkin. Gotta love that boy! Lydia did the small pumpkin at the top of this post.

The kids walked my legs off, got lots of candy and then we went to pick Emily up at her boyfriend's house. And they have puppies there! Gorgeous little blonde puppies that are only 8 weeks old, I think. Sweet and precious as can be. And no, we aren't getting one. This has made me the bad guy to my kids, but honestly, we don't need more vet bills or a teething toddler puppy to chew everything up! Plus we already have a dog, Molly. While Molly isn't the sweetest little snugglepuss you've ever seen-- since she's old and was abused by her former owners-- she is still our dog. I tried to explain to the kids that we made a committment to take care of Molly, and that getting a puppy would make her feel like we were getting a dog to replace her, but they so want one of these sweet golden retriever puppies. I guess I have to be the villain here and just say no. I can't handle more babies to take care of!

All in all, it was a good night. While the costumes weren't great, at least Daniel enjoyed being a bat for the night-- albeit a human-toothed bat, as he put it. Later, after the trick-or-treating was done, he put on his baseball cap, and I teased him about being a baseball bat. LOL

10-21-08 First Frost

2008-10-21T11:33:00.007-04:00

It's officially autumn! Painted leaves have littered my yard, and the squirrels are busily collecting their winter hoard of acorns. Pumpkins have arrived at all the local stores and roadside stands, and we've already been to the apple orchard. Fall is such a glorious time of the year. As of yesterday, we've had our first frost of the season. Soon we will begin preparing the house for holidays and filling our home with the scents of the season- cinnamon and nutmeg, warm pumpkin and sweet potato pies, and a slight aroma of Murphy's Oil Soap in anticipation of family visitors. To me, this is the most exciting time of year. It's a time between times-- it's not quite the holidays, and summer has passed into memory. It's a time of harvest and home, working hard before the long winter, getting firewood cut and ready to keep our home toasty in the wood stove.

Autumn is also a season of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving isn't something that is just celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November (in the US); it should be celebrated daily- and no matter what the season. It doesn't only occur when there is a turkey and stuffing on the table. Instead, we should be in the habit of being grateful for that which God has provided for us- an appreciation of our harvest of blessings- both big and small. Each day has its own harvest- of relationships, experiences, resources and most of all of the love of our Heavenly Father. As the weather turns cooler, and we turn inward, let us be warmed by the knowledge of His watch-care and truly thankful for what God has provided.

Psalms 95:2 Let us come before his presence with

thanksgiving...

Spiders and a Lesson in Tenacity 10-13-08

2008-10-13T12:05:00.009-04:00

Spiders' webs are truly fascinating things. The amount of intricate work put into them is nothing short of amazing. They also serve a vital purpose in keeping down the bug population. While in theory, I'm in awe of these delicate constructions, from a practical standpoint, I admit to consistently knocking down the web of our most tenacious 8-legged resident. Spouse and I have a running argument on whether or not I should remove this web at the top of the swing frame that sits on my deck. Perhaps it sounds mean that I keep knocking it down, but I do not take kindly to swinging with webs in my hair.

Someone keeps knocking her web down down-- so why does she keep rebuilding? Apparently the bug population in my back yard is sufficient enough to feed her well with a large web, and she seems to think this is an ideal place to build. It makes sense. My deck is elevated, so she has a greater chance of catching those juicy flying entrees. The swing frame's construction makes it fairly easy to attach the multiple strands required to build the framework for her web. And the deck isn't used daily, so she lives in relative peace from humans. Perhaps she even counts on my every-other-day web destruction, since webs are only temporarily useful-- once too many bugs have been caught and torn the web, and it has to be rebuilt anyway. She's a tenacious spider. Building and rebuilding. Her life is a cycle of construction and destruction.

In my life, there are things I work to build that others tear down and I have to rebuild. Granted, the things that I do aren't delicate weavings of proteinaceous spider silk, but they take work and daily maintenance. Maintaining my home, my relationships and the delicate balance of an overstuffed calendar are just as intricate, and just as useful for my family. If I don't maintain those things and rebuild when something has been knocked down, things will go very badly. Just like that spider, the basic function of my life is disrupted if I don't build my web well! Just like her, I need to build on a solid foundation, where there is peace and abundance.

So maybe next time I won't knock down her web. Maybe I'll let her presence there just remind me of the lesson of tenacity, even in the face of challenging circumstances. Besides, who has time to sit on the backporch swing anymore???

Even a Fish... 10-10-08

2008-10-10T00:59:00.013-04:00

I have a habit of reading a chapter of Proverbs every day. One of the things I love about Proverbs is the wisdom that can be found in its pages. Even though it's late (or rather really early for the 10th), I thought I'd share with you something from today's chapter of Proverbs.

Proverbs 10:19
In the multitude of words sin is not lacking,
But he who restrains his lips is wise.

In particular, I love the wording that first line...in the multitude of words, sin is not lacking. We live in a culture where we are surrounded with words, and few people embrace silence these days. Yet there is wisdom in the silence. The words all around us tell us to buy things we don't need, believe things that aren't true, and generally fill up our thinking space. Further, when we talk all day, not only do we bore people to death with our mind-numbing noise, but we also find ourselves revealing things we didn't intend to. Would gossip ever be a problem if we paid more attention to our words? Would we hurt one another even half as much if we were more mindful of the nonsense that spews forth from our mouths? Would arguments escalate so much? Would there be so many divorces and other broken relationships? If we chose to talk less and listen more, what could we learn from the people around us?

One of my Dad's favorite things to say to me when I was a teenager was "Even a fish wouldn't get himself in trouble if he'd keep his mouth shut." (For that matter, he still says it from time to time.) As colloquial as that sounds, I think there is truth in that. Now that I have two teenagers of my own, I completely understand what he meant. Ironically, when I was that age, it just sounded like more noise to me, mostly because I was so interested in what I had to say that I never stopped to consider that my mouth was primarily what was getting me in trouble. Perhaps if I'd practiced a little bit of extra wisdom and restrained my lips, my parents and I wouldn't have had so many arguments when I was a teenager.

God's pruning shears 10-5-08

2008-10-05T21:37:00.008-04:00

Someone on a message board that I haunt asked: What would God prune out of your life? Interesting question, because pruning is cutting things out to allow for new growth. So I thought I'd answer it here too.

One of the things God is pruning out of my life is a lack of self-confidence. For years and years, I have pushed my own talents to the background. They weren't important because somehow I thought I wasn't important. Yet as time passes, I'm starting to rediscover myself. He's teaching me that I have unique abilities that He put there-- they were not an accident- and yes, parts of my personality that he wants to use. That annoying habit I have of being a bit bossy? That's leadership. It's not bossiness. I have a natural tendency to organize and delegate things. How about that lack of fear of speaking in front of people? Or my writing abilities? Or my seeing things in a different way than other people? Well, guess what-- God really likes those, and He wants me to quit pushing those things into the background and use them for him.

Another point that God is dealing with me on is my tendency to delay delay delay out of fear. I spend way more time than God would want on fretting and worrying and making plans for every contingency, when what I really need to be doing is-- well, doing. Doing something, moving in a direction with confidence that even if I fall on my face, God will still love me and pick me up again. I have stood in a place of fear for far too long, and fear breeds inactivity. That's something that God wants out of here.... he wants me doing big things for him, and it all starts with banishing the fear that has had me frozen for far too long.

Sometimes pruning can be painful, but in the end, it's necessary to get you to grow like God wants you to. And it has to be pruned just right, and only the Master Gardner knows how, when and what to prune!

Oh but that milkshake was good..... 10-2-08

2008-10-02T17:40:00.009-04:00

At the ripe old age of 36, somehow my body has decided that contrary to the commercial a decade or so ago, milk doesn't do a body good. Or at least not MY body. Even though I still crave things like ice cream and cheese and milkshakes, I pay a terrible price-- one of feeling absolutely awful, with gastrointestinal upset and physical shaking and lots of fun stuff that makes me seriously regret the very brief enjoyment of whatever it was that was tempting me.

I know that if I do something like-say- drink a strawberry milkshake from Chic-Fil-A while at the mall birthday shopping for my daughter, there will likely be unpleasant results. Yet today, that's exactly what I did. I am a fairly intelligent person, but for some reason I just gave in to it, and I paid the penalty. By the time we reached our driveway, I was about ready to keel over. Spouse seemed to see how green I was looking, and internally I suspect he was laughing. You see, he's supposed to help me out by reminding me that I can't do such things, but he doesn't. Instead he shoots me those "I told you so" looks.

The kids all got off the bus almost immediately after I got home, and I am not pleased to say that they found their mom in bed, self-pitying pretty badly. I even cried out to God saying "Why did I do that?" And I imagined him looking down at me, much as I would look down at one of my own children saying, "I told you not to do that, and now you're paying the consequences."

I imagine that God says this to His children pretty often when we sin. Granted, drinking a strawberry milkshake would not be sin to most people, but for me-- it was definitely a sin-- one against my own tummy. Much like that lovely milkshake, sin is usually easily accessible and enjoyable at the time of commission, and the results aren't always immediate. However, once our spirit starts trying to digest what we've done, we find ourselves in a place of regret. And without going into too much detail, just like that milkshake, things don't start getting better until the sin is completely out of our system.

So today I am repenting of milkshakes and cheese and ice cream and perhaps even trips to the mall, since the temptation to overspend and kick off a lactose intolerant reaction is right there. But if I do go to the mall, perhaps next time I will be more focused on what I'm looking for than on the milkshake that so easily ensnares.

All things old 9-20-08

2008-09-20T21:23:00.010-04:00

Today's project-du-jour was a manky old potting shelf that I got for FREE (gotta love THAT price). It was old, a bit funkily stained and the top was no longer attached. There were also nails coming from the frame (that used to hold the top on), making it a treacherous thing. The table-top is cut oddly-- there is a cut right at the edge where apparently someone oopsed in cutting it out of the larger piece of wood-- which is fine if it's a potting shelf or a shelf to stash your laundry supplies, as it was being used in my basement. Most people would have thrown this out, but I saw potential.

The problem we were having in my youngest daughter's room was too little shelf space, resulting in stuffed toys on the floor. Hopefully this will fix that issue. The first thing I did was remove the nails from the frame, so that I wouldn't harm myself working with it. Then I gave both the base and the table top a good spray paint job. I had some hinges, so I hinged the top to the frame base. My plan is to add a bottom in the thing-- so it will hinge upward, revealing in inside shelf, giving my youngest daughter more space to store her treasures. For now, it has a hinged top, but no bottom to the internal shelf- until I can get to the store to buy a piece of wood. It came out fairly well, for what it was, if I do say so myself. A bit shabby-chic because of the problems I couldn't fix (like the cut in the top and banged up edges of the wood), but it will serve it's purpose in her room. It's not perfect, but Lydia was pleased as punch to receive it!

As I was doing all this, my Spouse and I had a conversation on why I love junk. Some things are treasures. Some are just cool, and some are just plain junk. Truly this potting shelf was junk before I fixed it up. I love junk because I like the idea that something, no matter how flawed, can still have purpose. Maybe not even it's original purpose- but it can be used somehow.

It's how I see myself, afterall. I know I have flaws. I'm human, and I've got some big flaws. Everyone does. If we are honest with ourselves, compared to who we should be in God's plan-- we aren't quite there yet. In some ways we've been used up. Our paint is banged up. There are places where we are broken. There are even broken places that God chooses not to fix, but instead makes those broken places a part of something new. It's God's ultimate recycling plan-- taking a life that has been damaged, that is of no use to anyone, turning it around and using it for His purposes. Good thing God's got a lot of spray paint, huh?

The God Connection 9-8-08

2008-09-08T22:40:00.005-04:00

Tonight, a friend of mine had forgotten her purse at church, so she came back to get it. I don't actually think it was her purse that she came back for, though... what I mean is that she and her spouse got into a conversation with me and my spouse that was very helpful to all four of us. Had she remembered her purse, we wouldn't have talked.

Isn't it weird when God does that? It's like he wants to show us that we're not alone-- we all struggle with some of the same things, but we're all so busy hiding what we're going through that no one realizes it. Sometimes we need God to act as our connector.

Ten PM in the church parking lot-- my kids are past ready to go home, and we were still talking- about depression, what's going on in our church, struggling with getting from point A to point B, struggles with wanting to continue being a SAHM... even feeling called to something, but not quite being sure how to do what we are called to do.

I have no doubt it was all arranged by God himself. It was just nice to hear someone else is right there where I am...

Lifehouse's Everything Drama 8-7-08

2008-08-07T10:50:00.003-04:00

A friend of mine sent this youtube video to me of Lifehouse's Everything drama, and I thought it was wonderfully done. Very powerful.

Quit yer complainin! 8-15-08

2008-08-05T11:57:00.003-04:00

Philippians 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure....

How many times in church have I heard complaining and arguing? I suppose technically I'm complaining about the complaining, but it's funny, isn't it? We come together as a family of God, and we spend our time picking one another apart. How many churches have split over what color carpet to put in the new sanctuary? Or over 1,000 other silly decisions that really don't matter? How many people are hurt by rude words, and complaints over how they handled something?

Notice what is opposite of complaining and arguing... blamelessness and purity. When we refuse to show our gratitude, God feels unappreciated. Yet when we celebrate God's gifts with thanksgiving and praise, not only is it better for our spiritual relationship with God, but it's also better for us. When our attitudes are better,we tend to work together better and get things done, but we also have a brighter outlook- one of purity and blamelessness.

Proverb-du-jour! 8-5-08

2008-08-05T11:36:00.004-04:00

Proverbs 5:21
For a man's ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths.

Wow- there's a statement that a lot of us aren't comfortable with. I was reading my proverb-du-jour today and this really stuck out to me. Proverbs 5 is mostly about staying away from the adulteress. It's about sticking with your spouse, and not seeking after someone else's wife. While I don't have a wife, and adultery isn't my issue-- it applies to pretty much any lifestyle of sin. Everyone has some area in their life where there is temptation to sin- some area that we like to keep hidden from everyone else.

Yet when we realize that everything we do is in full view of God, it changes the way we look at things. There is no hiding. God sees it all. So when you have that thought- or do that thing you know you shouldn't-- you're not doing it quietly. The God who created you sees it.

As a mom, I have seen my kids thinking they are getting away with something, when really I know exactly what they're up to. Once, when my oldest son was four, I could hear the very distinct sound of Hot Wheels cars hitting the floor upstairs. He was supposed to be asleep. I called up the stairs "Put away the cars. You are supposed to be asleep." The gasp from upstairs was rather humorous. He was amazed because somehow he thought I could see through the ceiling. Little did he know that moms are aware of what little boys are up to. Why? Because we have to be aware in order to protect them. Aaron needed a proper amount of sleep, not play time right then.

In the same way, God's ability to know what's really going on in our lives isn't because he's some spiritual peeping tom. It's because he desires what is best for us. He knows that sin creates bad results. He knows that consequences are hard to deal with, and as our Heavenly parent, he desires good things for us. Unfortunately, we tend to be short-sighted, and we want to do temporal things that aren't good in the long run. Everything from having a lazy day when we should be working to earn money for our families to eating a jelly doughnut when we should make healthy choices. God sees it all. Nothing is hidden from him.

Wisdom Calls 7-27-08

2008-07-27T18:47:00.003-04:00

Proverbs 1:20-21 Wisdom calls aloud....

It's interesting to me that so many people in this world leave home to "find themselves" when what they really need to find is wisdom. Actually we don't need to find her, she's not hiding, but rather inviting us in. She (wisdom) is interested in us. She wants to share her joys with us, to nurture us, lead us, help us and give us good lives.

Wisdom was the first creation of God. Wisdom is from old. She is God's first gift to us, before we were even created, like a nuturing mother whom we can choose to embrace or reject.

She is beautiful, loving, giving and gentle. She does not force herself on anyone, but is easily found for those who seek her. And yet so few do.

Let us seek out wisdom's door that she may teach us. Let our hearts be tendered toward her, that we may live in her and bring glory to God. Let wisdom be welcome in our homes, our hearts, and ever upon our lips. In our lives, let wisdom reside.

What's in a Name? 7-21-08

2008-07-21T11:16:00.007-04:00

What's in a name? We hear that question asked many times in our lives. While it's true that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, as Juliet bemoaned about Romeo, I would venture to say it truly becomes part of who we are. It shapes us. After all, who has ever met someone with a profoundly nerdy name who didn't live up to it? Would Abraham Lincoln have been president if his name had been Bob Murphy? And then there are the people whose names don't quite seem to fit them, like the Chastity who is anything but chaste, or the typically clumsy girl named Grace.

My mom and dad both call me Elisabeth, my given name. It's a family name too- I am named after my paternal grandmother, and then Carol for my mom's namesake. No matter how long it has been since the rest of the world has called me something different, my parents will always call me Elisabeth.

Somewhere around the beginning of seventh grade, I grew tired of being one of many Elizabeths. True, my name was spelled differently, but it was still the same name that was given to every fourth girl in the seventies. I decided to take on the moniker of Beth. This worked quite easily since between sixth and seventh grades, they changed the school lines, and most of my friends ended up going to another school. The most interesting thing about being a Beth was that it seemed to change how others thought of me. It was shorter, almost cute. It seemed to fit me better, even. Most of the people who know me through church or from my past know me as Beth.

What I didn't realize was that in changing my name, I was doing something that we see throughout Scripture. From Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sara, from Jacob to Israel-- we see people here and there whose names are changed by God to indicate a new direction in their lives. Our names hold such meaning that it was important to God to change some of them. And God isn't the only one who saw the value in it. Look at Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. Don't recognize the names? That's because in the book of Daniel, the King of Babylon (Nebuchadnezzar) changed their names to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He did this because he knew that they needed to leave their Hebrew past behind them to become valuable assets to Babylon's empire. Fortunately, they didn't leave their faith behind, or otherwise we'd never have heard of them.

Possibly the most interesting thing about changing my last name from Ingram to Smith when I got married was its meaning. If we look at the Hebrew meaning of the word Beth, we see that it means house or home. The word Bethlehem, the city where Jesus was born, means House of Bread. Beth Shalom is house of welcome. We also know that a smith is someone who makes things-- for instance a goldsmith makes things with gold. A silversmith works with silver. So my name actually took on the meaning of Home Maker. And that's precisely what I was for more than fifteen years. I took care of our home. I had babies. I taught them daily new skills, and read stories. It was who I was- the long and the short of it.

I find myself lately desiring more to go by the name Lily. Lily is a derivation of Elizabeth, a carry-over from young childhood's diminutive Lily-Beth. I've always loved the name Lily. In fact, there have been a few in my past who called me Lily-Beth. Shortening it to Lily, what I love about it is that it is a beautiful flower, delicate yet strong, well-defined. It symbolizes purity. Jesus even tells us to consider the lilies- to remind us that God will take care of our needs. The flower is unusual, and it makes you take notice- not because it is loud or brash, but because of its quiet beauty. What an awesome thing to become! As I meet new people, some of them meet me as Lily. It's my writing name. It's my business name. It's who I am working to become. Is that weird? Yes, probably, but whose to say I can't change who I am?

My youngest is now entering first grade- his second year of school. Isn't it appropriate that I should move from being a homemaker to being more of myself now? Some may think it's odd, and I really don't expect people who know me as Beth to suddenly start calling me Lily. What's in a name? It's only who we are- that's all. And who I choose to be is currently expanding, becoming better-defined, and hopefully moving toward who God would want me to be.

A Bubbling Brook 7-19-08

2008-07-19T09:55:00.005-04:00

Last night as I was reading my Proverb-du-jour, I came across Proverbs 18:4. As I was drifting off to sleep, its meaning started to creep into my brain.

Proverbs 18:4
The words of a man's mouth are deep waters,
but the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.

The words of a man's (or woman's) mouth- these are meaningless things that are unfortunately quite plentiful. I know I do a great deal of talking about nothing, much to my spouse's chagrin. People talk all day, about the dumbest things, from the color of the wall to reiterating the same story they've told ten thousand times. I personally am terribly guilty of talking a problem to death, most notably (lately) my budding business as I wade through the myriad of choices out there to be made.

Deep water seems like a good thing. After all, what good swimming hole is shallow? And aren't we taught our whole lives that being shallow is a bad thing? Yet when you look at how deep waters is juxtaposed against the bubbling brook, the meaning gets a little clearer. Deep water is generally still water. Step into any river these days and it's not likely to be terribly deep- at the very least not an almost endless chasm. Because deep water is still water, bacteria and other funky things grow there quite easily. It's stagnant; it goes nowhere; it doesn't do much; it just sits there. Deep water is also generally a murky thing (primarily because of the weird things growing there), so you simply can't see how deep it goes. I have always been reticent to set foot in water where I can't see the bottom, because you just don't know what's down there.

Contrasted to that is the idea of a bubbling brook. I was in the James River just yesterday, and it wasn't deep at all, except in a few places. Near where I live, it averages only three feet deep, yet it is very powerful. Even though the current wasn't terribly strong yesterday, I found myself tired after being out there for just a few hours. Admittedly, the James is no bubbling brook- it is much larger, but the same concepts apply here.

A brook (or river) is in constant motion, moving over, under, around and through any obstacle in its path. It knows where it's going, and as such it gets there. There is no question which direction things will flow. It knows it has a larger purpose, and it keeps moving toward that purpose, with consistent energy. Likewise, applying wisdom means we keep moving, knowing that there is something bigger than ourselves out there to which we need to contribute.

It is also constantly changing. The old saying is that you never step in the same river (or brook) twice. That's because rocks and debris are constantly being moved around a bit, or even worn away with the rapid swooshing of the water. If you look at the rocks and sediment as barriers, that's not really a full picture of it. The rocks and sediment (our challenges) are all part of our lives, and when wisdom is applied to a situation, they aren't just ignored-- but are dealt with , moved over here or there to suit our larger direction. This problem is swept away- further down the river, while this other one may stay a while and be slowly worn down by our motion.

Brooks are also teeming with life, yet this life is varied. Fish, snakes and insects are all typical things you would find in such a body of water. You'd also find animals coming to the brook or river to find a drink of water or a meal- birds, raccoons, deer, and bears to mention a few. Even people. Wisdom attracts others wanting to tap into it. It is of benefit to others around it.

It is easy to become stagnant ourselves when we simply talk talk talk all day long about an issue. I know I have one issue in particular that for the last 7 months, I have been sitting on the fence about. I've talked this particular thing to death- -thought about it until my brain hurts -- and done nothing about it. I haven't been a bubbling brook, I've been stagnant, talking myself deeper and deeper until I felt like I was going to drown. It's what we do as people, isn't it? We do what's easier- we whine, we moan, we make excuses. But wisdom tells us to get moving and realize there is a greater purpose out there for our time, energy and talents. Time to start putting a current into our days, instead of just stepping into a murky-bottomed pond.